March 22, 2026

Porch Time

Send us Fan Mail A coworker leaves after years and suddenly the day feels off, even if the work still gets done. That’s where our porch talk starts: the “missing piece” feeling, the way crews change, and how you can be happy for someone’s next move while still bracing for the chaos their absence might cause. From there, we do what we do best and follow the conversation wherever it goes. A loose wolf dog stealing attention during an Olympic event turns into a bigger riff on why sports are bet...

Send us Fan Mail

A coworker leaves after years and suddenly the day feels off, even if the work still gets done. That’s where our porch talk starts: the “missing piece” feeling, the way crews change, and how you can be happy for someone’s next move while still bracing for the chaos their absence might cause.

From there, we do what we do best and follow the conversation wherever it goes. A loose wolf dog stealing attention during an Olympic event turns into a bigger riff on why sports are better when they’re simple, surprising, and shared. We also get into politics in sports, why it feels like everyone broadcasts their vote now, and why we miss the days when people could disagree without trying to burn every bridge.

Then it’s weather whiplash, daylight saving time complaints, and a fast run through headlines and oddball stories: tariffs, a curling controversy, a pizza concept that raises questions, and a pickleball marathon record that sounds less like glory and more like punishment. We wrap with the kind of real-life comedy you can’t plan, including the mystery of shoes left outside for months and a detour into foot sizes and the little keepsakes we hang onto.

If you like a funny porch podcast with sports opinions, weird news, and genuine small-town storytelling, hit play, follow MT Alternative Podcast, and share it with a friend. After you listen, leave us a message and tell us what topic you want us to argue about next.

Support the show

00:00 - Porch Banter And Disclaimers

02:35 - Saying Goodbye To A Coworker

05:10 - Wolf Dog Olympics And Sports Opinions

10:17 - Weather Whiplash And Daylight Saving Time

12:39 - Porch Time PSA And Little Dudes

24:27 - News Roundup Tariffs And Curling Drama

28:09 - Weird Headlines And Offbeat Laughs

30:33 - Shoes Foot Sizes And Small Keepsakes

36:22 - Porch Wildlife Wind And Sign-Off

WEBVTT

00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:02.080
I have a nice hole.

00:01:23.359 --> 00:01:24.239
Hey, listen up.

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This program is for entertainment only, alright?

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Not facts, not advice, and absolutely not safe for serious people.

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Listener discretion advised, common sense encouraged.

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Volume control, that's on you.

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This is the MT Alternative Podcast.

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Welcome back, Tom.

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What's going on?

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Not much.

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What's going on with you?

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I I have no idea.

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Are we recording?

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Yeah, we've been recording.

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We've been recording, bud.

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Okay, cool.

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I think Yeah, we're recording.

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Good, good.

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So what have you been doing this week?

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Huh.

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Do you really want to know or working?

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I really want to know.

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Do you really, really want to know?

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Don't say it like that.

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Don't ask like that.

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No.

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No, don't do that.

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You can't do that.

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I worked.

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We worked six days.

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Yeah, we did work six days.

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They just It didn't bother me.

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I get there so damn early I didn't give it up.

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I'm waiting out here.

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I don't care.

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I just wish it was a little lighter so I could see the mountains over by the high school.

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Right, right, right.

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But I think I don't know.

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I got like this hole.

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Hole?

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Yeah, this hole that I'm missing something because after eleven years.

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Is it because of that cold intro there from Squeak?

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Oh no, no, not that I think of that.

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Not that hole.

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Oh.

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Okay.

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But I was worried.

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There's like a hole in your heart?

00:03:00.879 --> 00:03:01.759
Yeah, yeah.

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That can only be filled by me.

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No, that's not it.

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That's not it?

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No, it's just that we lost a person that normally.

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Not because of that.

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She left for a better position at one of our other facilities.

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Yes.

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There you go.

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But it's just gonna be weird.

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So kind of strange.

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Eleven years and I just got used to her.

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Seven for me.

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I still haven't got used to her, but no.

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But wish her well.

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Yeah, I do wish her well.

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Good for her.

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Being stuck in that what'd she say?

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Eight.

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How many years?

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Twenty years.

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Same department.

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It was a while in a show.

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So I can understand wanting to get the hell out and move on.

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Oh, she's never going to have a crew like us.

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I guess she's on her own anyways over there.

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That's a big one.

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Oh well.

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We'll see what happens.

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Yep, wish her well.

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I mean, we do know when she's gone for a week on vacation, what a shit show it turns into.

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That's all.

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I'm there, do my job, three o'clock, I'm gone.

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Yep, me too.

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That's kind of how I feel.

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Nothing changes for you and I.

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It'd probably be chaotic, but that doesn't fall on us.

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Nope.

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That's why we get paid the little bucks.

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Exactly.

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I'll keep it that way.

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I'm just a grunt, leave me alone.

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I do this and that's it.

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You might want to talk to that lady in the office.

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Yeah.

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Or guy.

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Whoever's in there.

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I enjoy when they say, yeah, you gotta hurry up and get your stuff done today.

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You got a whole load today.

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Well.

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Yeah.

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Am I making the same thing I made yesterday?

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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Well then you're gonna get yesterday's work.

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Yep, that's what you're getting.

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No, I really have.

00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:07.839
Yeah, I haven't watched much of it.

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I haven't watched any of it.

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I don't know why I say that.

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But on uh YouTube there was this I caught this thing about this wolf dog.

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Oh, yeah.

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Is that what you were starting to talk about?

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Yeah, exactly.

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Just I guess some people had this dog at escape.

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I think where they had the cross country time.

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Is it in Italy or something?

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I'm not sure.

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Guess the dog got loose.

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Ended up on a track or the trail or whatever for cross country and the females are going.

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And there's the dog.

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Oh my just following along and people are more interested.

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The dog got more of an applause than the people in the I just thought it was a cute story, a funny story.

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I'm like, well, yeah, if that was happening more in the Olympics, I'd be watching.

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I'd watch it, yeah.

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If I knew there was a dog in there, I'd be right there at it.

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Speaking of Olympics, a lot of them, you know, you get all the Olympians who are like, Yeah, Trump.

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I guess the Canadian woman's hockey.

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I mean, no, the U.S.

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woman's hockey team was all together.

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Arm and I'm singing the national anthem.

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That's awesome.

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Yes.

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They may not like what's going on, but they sat there and did what it's right by their country.

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Because it's not about Trump.

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Nope.

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It's USA.

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It's unity.

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Exactly.

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It's got nothing to do with it.

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Keep your politics out.

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You're there for America.

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You're there for America.

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Absolutely.

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Don't come there and slam this, slam that, because it's the right thing to do.

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Anyway.

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I don't know why these stars.

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I mean, they're great athletes.

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Don't athletes.

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Don't use that foundation to throw your politics.

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No, do not.

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Because it that's that's a problem.

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I remember back in the day.

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Sorry.

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Hear it something in my ear.

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No.

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I back in the day when you voted, you nobody knew what side you voted on.

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No, I didn't talk.

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Nobody came up and said who'd you vote for?

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Yeah, exactly.

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No, it's my vote.

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I I telling.

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We've talked about this before being young and my father going to breakfast somewhere with a bunch of people, all talk politics, they're all yelling.

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I'm like, oh crap, throw down.

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Then next minute.

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Yeah, they're laughing and carrying on.

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But nowadays you notice it's the leftists.

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Yeah.

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If I'm sitting down talking and I find out someone's you know voting that way, I'm not gonna hold it against them.

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No, that's their decision.

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That's what you want to do, but it let it be the other way.

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Yeah, exactly.

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Shun your family members.

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Terrible.

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You ought to smoke a turd in hell.

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Yeah.

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That's how they feel.

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So so so suck your toe.

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Yeah.

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Well, March 17th.

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27, 29th.

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Somewhere.

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UFL.

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UFL.

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Because I'm certainly not getting into the Olympics.

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You're certainly not getting to the bag of cigarettes either.

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I'm not a fan of uh baseball.

00:08:26.399 --> 00:08:29.680
Not a fan of Yeah, I don't watch a lot of baseball.

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Basketball doesn't appeal to me.

00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:32.799
I know you like college.

00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:36.320
I do the college basketball, and that's that's coming up.

00:08:36.480 --> 00:08:38.240
March Madness, boys.

00:08:38.480 --> 00:08:42.159
It's starting to heat up a little bit.

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Rock chalk jayhawk.

00:08:44.720 --> 00:08:45.759
Yeah, I guess.

00:08:45.919 --> 00:08:48.000
I'm just basketball's not my thing.

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Used to be back in the eighties.

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Oh, right.

00:08:51.759 --> 00:08:52.799
70s, 80s.

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When we could play.

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I like to play basketball a little bit back when uh my knees worked.

00:09:00.480 --> 00:09:02.000
No, I didn't even like playing it.

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Did you not?

00:09:02.960 --> 00:09:03.440
Nope.

00:09:03.679 --> 00:09:04.720
I loved playing basketball.

00:09:05.039 --> 00:09:05.919
I loved to play baseball.

00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:08.320
I can't stand watching baseball, but I loved baseball.

00:09:08.639 --> 00:09:09.279
See, I did too.

00:09:09.440 --> 00:09:12.320
I like to watch I'd like to play, but not watch.

00:09:12.639 --> 00:09:13.279
And hockey.

00:09:13.519 --> 00:09:14.480
Love hockey.

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See, if if I go to a game, a hockey game, if I'm there It's a lot different than watching it on TV, obviously.

00:09:25.600 --> 00:09:26.399
Oh, absolutely.

00:09:26.720 --> 00:09:28.639
The crowd is half the fun.

00:09:28.960 --> 00:09:35.600
And I'll admit when NHL a few years ago had a strike shortened season, basically it was half the season.

00:09:35.919 --> 00:09:39.440
That was great hockey because now you don't have eighty-two games.

00:09:43.600 --> 00:09:43.840
Right.

00:09:44.159 --> 00:09:46.879
You got forty games and you better do something, you better be on topic.

00:09:47.279 --> 00:09:48.480
Well say that's like baseball.

00:09:48.879 --> 00:09:51.200
Every game was like playoff hockey, and I love that.

00:09:51.519 --> 00:09:52.720
Yeah, it's like baseball.

00:09:52.960 --> 00:09:55.440
Baseball, you play 166 games a year.

00:09:56.720 --> 00:09:58.879
Yeah, once yeah, what is that all about?

00:10:01.679 --> 00:10:03.360
Holly God bullshit.

00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:06.240
No wonder they make all that money.

00:10:06.799 --> 00:10:11.039
They are higher paid than most Yeah, they're the most the biggest babies.

00:10:11.759 --> 00:10:13.759
Babies cry babies, absolutely.

00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:16.879
But uh anyways, another nice day, Tom.

00:10:17.200 --> 00:10:19.679
Beautiful day out here on the porch.

00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:20.480
Yeah.

00:10:20.960 --> 00:10:24.399
We're getting ready to drop the temps again what tomorrow.

00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:28.240
Sunday is Monday morning.

00:10:28.399 --> 00:10:30.159
It's supposed to be what, 27, 30 degrees?

00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:33.200
Yeah.

00:10:34.159 --> 00:10:35.840
It's 79 degrees yesterday.

00:10:36.240 --> 00:10:36.559
Yeah, it did.

00:10:36.720 --> 00:10:39.919
That's what I was telling the old ball and chain when I came home.

00:10:41.039 --> 00:10:41.679
She's like, what?

00:10:41.840 --> 00:10:45.360
Because she was stuck inside all day doing her work at home crap.

00:10:45.759 --> 00:10:46.080
Right.

00:10:48.080 --> 00:10:49.919
But it's just been beautiful.

00:10:50.159 --> 00:10:52.639
For February, this is nuts.

00:10:53.600 --> 00:10:54.080
Yeah.

00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:56.000
Well, you know what they say too?

00:10:56.159 --> 00:10:58.159
March in like a line, like a lamb.

00:10:58.799 --> 00:10:59.919
See what happens March.

00:11:00.240 --> 00:11:01.600
We got one more week of this.

00:11:02.080 --> 00:11:02.559
No more.

00:11:02.799 --> 00:11:04.639
Yeah, well, I mean.

00:11:05.039 --> 00:11:09.600
Yeah, we we're like eighteen, nineteen days away from spring.

00:11:10.879 --> 00:11:12.320
When is the first day of spring?

00:11:12.799 --> 00:11:14.799
27th or something like that?

00:11:15.600 --> 00:11:16.159
March?

00:11:16.639 --> 00:11:17.120
Something.

00:11:17.279 --> 00:11:17.519
Yeah.

00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:21.440
I know it's uh we're we're like under twenty days.

00:11:22.080 --> 00:11:25.120
Because the other day it was twenty-two days.

00:11:25.360 --> 00:11:28.480
So I'll be honest, I don't even look at that stuff anymore.

00:11:28.879 --> 00:11:30.240
Yeah, because the weather's different.

00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:35.519
I think I only know when winter solace and uh summer.

00:11:35.919 --> 00:11:36.000
Right.

00:11:36.320 --> 00:11:37.759
That's the only two I know.

00:11:38.320 --> 00:11:43.840
And then we're gonna fight forward in time again here just shortly.

00:11:44.320 --> 00:11:44.799
Piss me off.

00:11:44.879 --> 00:11:46.480
I'd rather stay right at standard time.

00:11:46.879 --> 00:11:47.440
Me too.

00:11:47.840 --> 00:11:51.120
I think that's changing the clocks back, putting them ahead is stupid.

00:11:51.519 --> 00:11:55.919
Well, your body already has a clock inside, and you're messing with that.

00:11:56.320 --> 00:11:58.720
This is the way this is when I sleep better.

00:11:59.200 --> 00:12:00.159
I just like it better.

00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:01.440
Everybody, well, it's darker.

00:12:04.159 --> 00:12:05.039
Maybe an hour and a half.

00:12:05.759 --> 00:12:06.320
Dark at eight.

00:12:06.399 --> 00:12:06.879
Oh boy.

00:12:06.960 --> 00:12:08.720
Well, I want it to be dark at nine.

00:12:10.639 --> 00:12:12.159
What the hell are you doing anyways?

00:12:12.480 --> 00:12:14.799
Yeah, I nine o'clock's when you go to bed.

00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:17.759
I like when it's dark early, I can hide on my porch better.

00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:18.480
Yeah.

00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:19.840
Yeah, no doubt.

00:12:20.320 --> 00:12:25.600
But let's go into uh let's get ready for the you know, the little dudes are out there scrambling around.

00:12:25.840 --> 00:12:32.399
So they came in earlier, I saw we'll get them in for uh their little whatever they're gonna talk about this time.

00:12:33.039 --> 00:12:34.639
We just never know.

00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:38.559
And uh folks, we'll be right back right after this PSA.

00:12:39.120 --> 00:12:40.159
And the little dudes.

00:12:40.559 --> 00:12:43.039
This is a public service announcement from the MT Alternative Podcast.

00:12:43.200 --> 00:12:46.559
That he showed that extended porch time with Mike and Tom may lead to dangerous side effects.

00:12:46.639 --> 00:12:55.679
Symptoms include saying just one more story for the fifth time, forgetting what day it is, solving the world's problems without anyone asking, and suddenly having very strong opinions about music from 1975.

00:12:56.000 --> 00:13:02.799
Medical professionals warn that porch time may cause uncontrolled laughter, unnecessary debates, and the belief that you could definitely run a podcast better than most people.

00:13:03.039 --> 00:13:07.519
In severe cases, listeners have reported staying up way too late and telling their spouse, hold on, Mike's making a point.

00:13:07.679 --> 00:13:12.879
If your loved one experiences porch time lasting longer than four hours, please seek help, or at least refill your drink and grab a chair.

00:13:13.120 --> 00:13:18.399
Remember, porch time is not recommended while operating heavy machinery, making life decisions, or pretending you're only listening for five minutes.

00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:22.159
This message brought to you by the MT Alternative Podcast, parts responsibly.

00:13:26.399 --> 00:13:27.519
You think you can?

00:13:27.679 --> 00:13:30.240
So hey, squeak.

00:13:30.720 --> 00:13:32.320
Here we are again, yeah.

00:13:32.720 --> 00:13:34.080
Here we are again.

00:13:34.159 --> 00:13:35.840
What the hell's up with this equipment?

00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:37.519
Yeah, I know, bastards.

00:13:37.679 --> 00:13:40.159
Well, I had to spend my mama come with them.

00:13:40.720 --> 00:13:42.720
What do they think they're doing with it?

00:13:42.960 --> 00:13:43.759
I don't know.

00:13:44.480 --> 00:13:45.120
I don't know.

00:13:46.080 --> 00:13:49.200
You think about this story about the wolf dog?

00:13:55.120 --> 00:13:57.200
Did he running down the oak track?

00:13:57.919 --> 00:14:01.440
Yeah, there was my nice on the cute when he stuck his nose up.

00:14:03.279 --> 00:14:03.519
Okay.

00:14:04.799 --> 00:14:06.080
Leave it to you, sweet.

00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:07.039
Notice that.

00:14:07.360 --> 00:14:09.039
No, no, leave it to the dog.

00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:13.200
But no one's talking about it but you.

00:14:13.600 --> 00:14:15.440
Yeah, but anyway.

00:14:28.639 --> 00:14:36.799
Maybe we'll come last year, but we'll do that.

00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:43.039
How do we get a lesson?

00:14:46.960 --> 00:14:47.919
That's what we do.

00:15:02.240 --> 00:15:11.279
She'll come on a ton of you.

00:15:12.000 --> 00:15:12.159
Okay.

00:15:17.840 --> 00:15:22.399
If I remember correctly, I was sending you up with some renovations.

00:15:27.039 --> 00:15:29.759
Why, why did you send them away?

00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:37.759
They were gonna give you a renovation.

00:15:38.320 --> 00:15:39.919
They were gonna walk in the home.

00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:47.919
They were gonna do you hopefully so maybe I don't know.

00:15:57.519 --> 00:16:03.120
Yes, they were okay.

00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:56.000
I told you they were making a bigger dog.

00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:21.119
And the table's like donating it.

00:17:25.519 --> 00:17:27.920
I know, I know, and it just doesn't matter.

00:17:44.960 --> 00:17:48.880
Well, I might not even see.

00:17:53.440 --> 00:17:56.960
Well, because it's one of anybody in the house.

00:17:57.119 --> 00:17:58.319
And then skill it.

00:17:59.200 --> 00:18:01.599
This kid is only for one person.

00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:02.400
Wait a minute.

00:18:04.160 --> 00:18:06.000
Mama doesn't even live in a house.

00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:22.319
Well, I told you this very, very decent people.

00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:36.559
I don't think it's a weakness.

00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:46.720
I don't want to just gonna tell you they go take a high.

00:20:47.680 --> 00:20:53.839
Well, they're just gonna ruin it for us.

00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:24.160
That's why there's like no day of them.

00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:36.240
So hey, uh well.

00:21:43.119 --> 00:21:45.119
I can have any times in body weight.

00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:51.039
I think it's more than uh I think it's eleven.

00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:54.720
Eleven eleven times.

00:21:55.279 --> 00:21:58.079
Eleven times like a big number.

00:21:58.319 --> 00:21:59.519
We have a good uh

00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:46.160
Uh oh.

00:23:46.559 --> 00:23:50.799
I guess they uh didn't like my little story about the wolf dog.

00:23:51.519 --> 00:23:52.799
No, I guess not.

00:23:53.359 --> 00:23:54.079
Squeak.

00:23:55.039 --> 00:23:55.920
I shouldn't say they.

00:23:56.000 --> 00:23:56.880
Yeah, squeak.

00:23:57.200 --> 00:23:58.000
Well, yeah.

00:23:58.240 --> 00:24:04.240
And you know he was the one that's gonna point out how it went straight up to the hoo-hoo.

00:24:04.400 --> 00:24:05.200
Yeah, of course.

00:24:05.359 --> 00:24:06.400
Well, dogs do that.

00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:08.720
It's just a normal thing.

00:24:08.960 --> 00:24:09.440
Is it?

00:24:09.599 --> 00:24:10.319
Yes, it is.

00:24:10.480 --> 00:24:11.119
Of course it is.

00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:13.359
Yeah, that's how they say hey.

00:24:13.920 --> 00:24:14.319
Yeah.

00:24:15.359 --> 00:24:17.359
Nothing like a cold nose right in the old ass.

00:24:17.599 --> 00:24:20.720
Didn't it look like he was too uh no, I don't like that.

00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:23.279
I'm done.

00:24:23.599 --> 00:24:23.920
I'm done.

00:24:24.079 --> 00:24:25.039
I'm done here.

00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:26.880
Anyways.

00:24:27.359 --> 00:24:28.319
Lots of fun.

00:24:28.480 --> 00:24:31.039
So I found some stories.

00:24:31.759 --> 00:24:32.400
Some news stories.

00:24:32.720 --> 00:24:33.200
Like stories.

00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:36.000
We'll go over the top news stories of the week first.

00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:39.359
Then we'll go to more our uh style stories.

00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:42.480
Feel free to uh comment on any of these if you want.

00:24:42.720 --> 00:24:43.039
Okay.

00:24:43.599 --> 00:24:46.000
All right, we know we all know about the rising U.S.

00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:47.359
Iran tensions.

00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:48.960
Yeah, a little bit.

00:24:49.759 --> 00:24:52.640
Okay, well, we won't get into the doom and gloom there.

00:24:52.880 --> 00:24:54.640
Diplomacy on Ukraine.

00:24:54.799 --> 00:24:55.119
Yeah.

00:24:55.519 --> 00:24:59.200
Peace talks continued in Geneva involving U.S., Russia, and Ukraine.

00:24:59.279 --> 00:24:59.920
Well, that's a good thing.

00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:02.160
That's a good thing.

00:25:03.039 --> 00:25:04.960
Uh domestic policy, U.S.

00:25:05.200 --> 00:25:06.799
and economic market moves.

00:25:06.960 --> 00:25:10.240
Global tariffs were unexpectedly raised by 15%.

00:25:11.039 --> 00:25:12.559
Well, unexpected?

00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:12.880
Yeah.

00:25:13.359 --> 00:25:19.359
Influencing markets while major tech profits, notably NVIDIA, are closely watched by investors.

00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:20.640
Let's see.

00:25:20.799 --> 00:25:22.480
AP news stories include U.S.

00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:30.960
political legal development, such as Supreme Court decision on tariffs and shifts in federal prosecutions alongside immigration and public safety headlines.

00:25:31.119 --> 00:25:35.200
Well funny thing about the uh let me just point this out.

00:25:35.599 --> 00:25:39.119
How they Supreme Court said, no, you can't do that.

00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:39.759
Exactly.

00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:46.480
But yet, the Supreme Court, one of the judges also put, if you're gonna do it, you do it this way.

00:25:46.720 --> 00:25:46.960
Right.

00:25:47.119 --> 00:25:48.960
So Trump's like, okay, cool.

00:25:49.119 --> 00:25:50.400

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