Culinary Curiosities and Pet-Sitting Perils
Ever wondered how a pit bull could rival Houdini, or what Tijuana Mama pickled sausage does to your taste buds? Mike and I are up to our usual antics on the latest MT Alternative Podcast, sharing tales that'll have you either running to your nearest ice cream parlor or thinking twice about what 'flavor' really means. While we indulge in the wild side of taste-testing—from garlic to Flaming Hot Cheetos ice cream—we also spill the beans on our own pet-sitting escapades and why you should always double-check your doggy duties.
The laughs don't stop as we argue over a dog's state residency and whether Bigfoot qualifies as an exotic pet. We've all felt the wrath of a mother's intuition, so you'll get a kick out of my confession involving some festive light bulb shenanigans from my less-than-angelic teen years. Amidst our chuckles, we pause to send our warm thoughts to listeners in storm-stricken areas, musing over climate preferences and whether a scoop of Earl Grey tea ice cream might just make any weather bearable.
So, pull up a chair, or better yet, sprawl out with your furry friend and let us take you on a journey through the quirkiest ice cream parlors America has to offer. We're not just about the laughs—we're about the shock, awe, and the occasional "what were they thinking?" moments that come with every spoonful of America's boldest flavors. Don't worry, we won't judge if you stick to vanilla after this, but we promise a wild ride through the flavors of innovation that just might change your mind. Grab your spoon and join us for a podcast that's anything but vanilla!
00:13 - Hodgepodge of Stories and Topics
08:07 - Casual Talk About Dogs and More
16:47 - Christmas Light Bulb Confession
28:26 - Ice Cream Flavors and Hockey Fans
33:10 - Ice Cream Flavor Reviews
48:07 - Unusual Ice Cream Flavors Discussion
Hodgepodge of Stories and Topics
Speaker 1Welcome to another episode of the MT Alternative Podcast . The podcast with a hodgepodge of stories and topics that will make you ask what the hell were they thinking . Now here are your hosts , mike and Tom .
Speaker 2Hey Tom , what's going on ?
Speaker 3Oh , not too much , mike , how you been .
Speaker 2I've been pretty decent actually , Tom . Thanks for asking .
Speaker 3Cool . Yeah , it's been so long since we've seen each other .
Speaker 2I know what has it been , not even 24 hours , Not even 24 hours yet . Yeah that's sad . We're not really a couple ?
Speaker 3Not at all , although we do see each other more 24 hours yet . Yeah , that's sad . We're not really a couple , not at all .
Speaker 2Although we do see each other more than our half . Yeah , I definitely see you more than I see my wife . Yeah , that's kind of sad yeah .
Speaker 3But on a brighter note .
Speaker 2There's a brighter note .
Speaker 3It didn't rain today Yet .
Speaker 2Yeah , it was so far .
Speaker 3So far .
Speaker 2I'm sure it's lurking . How was that ? That taste good ?
Speaker 3Yes , sounded it too , it was good .
Speaker 2That little ah .
Speaker 3That one at the end . It always gets me Guess what Tom's drinking ?
Speaker 2Yeah , anybody .
Speaker 3Yeah , if you guess it , I'll drink another .
Speaker 2No , no , no , he doesn't need any help .
Speaker 3But I only brought a few .
Speaker 2Just a few .
Speaker 3Just a few yeah .
Speaker 2That's okay .
Speaker 3It only takes a few , it's a few 24 ounces , so you brought a six-pack . It only takes a few . Well , I brought a six-pack and then a practice one .
Speaker 2Got to get that practice one in absolutely the golfers call that a bogey . That's what they call a bogey .
Speaker 3A bogey ? Yeah , I'm having a bogey .
Speaker 2So is it going to be again that Tom's keeping pace while Mike's falling behind one of them days ?
Speaker 3No , no . Well , I don't know how many have you opened ?
Speaker 2This is my first . Yes , you are behind . How am I behind ? You're not supposed to drink until you get here . Tom , remember the rules ? I didn't , okay , well , that's your first beer .
Speaker 3No , the other one is in the back .
Speaker 2What the hell did you do ? Suck one down outside , that's sad that .
Speaker 3What the hell did you do ? Suck one down outside . That's sad , that's so sad . What should I say ?
Speaker 2There are no words .
Speaker 3There are no there isn't you know ? What they are , what is it , Tom ?
Speaker 2You're ?
Speaker 3falling behind . Those are the words . Oh , can you hear the bubbles in the bottle he is chugging ? Now we're going to get him cranked . Give him 15 minutes and I'll ask him a question .
Speaker 2I might be passed out , never know .
Speaker 3No , no , I doubt that no .
Speaker 2I doubt that too , Tom . What do you have in front of you ?
Speaker 3Looks like a big wiener . Thanks , I didn't know , you noticed .
Speaker 2On my desk and it's not laying on my desk , please .
Speaker 3No , wait a minute . Oh the Tijuana Mama .
Speaker 2What is this ?
Speaker 3This is a pickled sausage and they have the regular .
Speaker 2Is it hot ?
Speaker 3And then they have the hot .
Speaker 2So what's the ?
Speaker 3hot . Well , the hot is it's kind of snappy . I like it , but today that's what she said , go on . Today I bought some , not paying attention .
Speaker 2Why were you not paying attention ?
Speaker 3Because it said the Tijuana Mamas . You can get 12 in a box for $5.99 .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 3It's 50 cents a piece .
Speaker 2That's a great deal All day long , obviously a great deal .
Speaker 3Yes , so I bought them . I snapped into the first one . I'm like , wait a minute , doesn't taste too much like pickled sausage ? Maybe they didn't get a lot of pickle , maybe that's why they were so inexpensive .
Speaker 2Right .
Speaker 3Well , took another bite . The more I got in I said now wait a minute , this one got a little bite to it .
Speaker 2Did you feel it in the back of your throat ?
Speaker 3Yeah , so I had to pull the wrapper back up over it and read it . Right 400 times hotter is what it says .
Speaker 2Now wait a minute . Now wait a minute . Now wait a minute . I have a question . Okay , who's the person who says it's that much hotter ? The same guy . What if , to you , it's only 100% hotter , it's the same guy ? Don't tell me it's the same guy . It's the feel-likes .
Speaker 3Yeah that idiot , yeah that idiot comes out that guy's making a killing . Yeah , it's 40 degrees outside , but it feels like 32 . Then it's 32 . No , you're a wimp . Put on some clothes . It feels like 45 , you idiot . That's the temperature . That's what it feels like .
Speaker 2It's kind of like what it feels like I Kind of like what it feel , like I get kicked in the balls . Did you get kicked in the balls ? No , I didn't , and it doesn't feel like you get kicked in the balls . Going back to that again , I get it Anyway , so that's awesome . But , yeah , anything interesting . Last night your son went away on vacation a little bit .
Speaker 3Yeah , a little bit . You're watching your dog sitting , I'm dog sitting and well , sitting , I'm dog sitting . And well , you say last night , which is kind of funny , because I thought , well , he's leaving today , I better check to make sure if he took care of everything first before he left , or did he expect me to go by and do it ? So I call him nope , dad took care of everything .
Speaker 2we're good wait . A minute Took care of everything . The dog still has to go out and do its thing .
Speaker 3He took it out before they left .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 3Which was right in the evening . I mean , I thought they left around 1 , 2 o'clock . No , that's when they were going to leave . Okay , as a family .
Speaker 2But they were gone before you left work . They had just left , so you couldn't go back .
Speaker 3Okay as a family , but they were gone before you left work .
Speaker 2They had just left so you couldn't go back just to let the dog out one more time .
Speaker 3Well , I could have .
Speaker 2Tom .
Speaker 3Tom , he told me it was taken care of , and you ? He bent the dog down .
Speaker 2Since when do you listen to your son ?
Speaker 3See , that's my issue . I think that's a lot of my problem .
Speaker 2What might that be ?
Speaker 3I listen to my son . But , anyway , long story short , I get there this morning , the dogs running around the house having a good time . It's a wonder there wasn't other dogs from the neighborhood .
Speaker 2Oh , so you had the run of the house .
Speaker 3Yeah , he was just chilling .
Speaker 2They don't have like a kennel for him .
Speaker 3They do oh , but evidently she got out .
Speaker 2Ah , she's a Houdini .
Speaker 3She's a Houdini . So I get there and I'm like , okay , I gotta take her out . Well , he lives pretty much out in the country so it's not a big deal . But I like to have a leash , because she's not used to me . So I don't want to get her out there and get her lost , get her ran over . He's pretty close to a road so you gotta kind of be careful . Well , I get there , I see no leash , so I call him up . Where'd you put the leash this time ? We accidentally packed it . Now here's my first question how many dogs did you take with you ? None , okay . Why would you accidentally pack ?
Speaker 3a leash , he is one of our true listeners , so he will enjoy this . But anyway , we're not really aggravated at you , we're just making fun of you , that's all .
Speaker 2That's what we do .
Speaker 3We make fun of ourselves even . But anyway , we are two idiots .
Casual Talk About Dogs and More
Speaker 3The dog is a very good dog . She's a blue-nosed pit bull , okay , so she's very smart , right , but she's very stubborn .
Speaker 2Some dogs can be stubborn .
Speaker 3But she's a loving dog .
Speaker 2Dogs are awesome .
Speaker 3All I have to do is just take a minute or two and talk to her and she calms right down and she's a loving dog and dogs are awesome . All I have to do is just take a minute or two and talk to her and she calms right down and she's all fine . But uh , I took her and I said , okay , I gotta go , and this dog ran back to her cage and got in it on her own . Never had to tell .
Speaker 3And so I shut it and made sure it's latched . So he asked me dad . He said , dad , were you over there last night ? I said no , you told me not to go . He's like yeah , but I'm trying to figure out why she was on the bar . I said I don't know why she was on the bar . She was out when I got here . He's like yeah , but I put her in a cage . Oh , you didn't , she's a Houdini .
Speaker 2So I can see you're at a . Yeah , try not to cry , I have more Cool , but we're doing a little dog sitting ourselves this weekend . Yeah , beautiful little dog .
Speaker 3Augie yes , is that his name . Her name Augie is a . Is that his name ?
Speaker 2That's her name , augie is a she Her name ? Augie , that is her name .
Speaker 3Well .
Speaker 2She's only seven months old .
Speaker 3Augie . Okay , Now wait a minute . There's a movie I watched .
Speaker 2She's very friendly .
Speaker 3Yes , she is my wife surprised me with this one .
Speaker 2Oh , we're dog sitting .
Speaker 3I seen you .
Speaker 2You had a picture of her at work yesterday . Yeah , in the backseat of a car .
Speaker 3Look here what I got . Uh-oh , my God .
Speaker 2No , did he get another dog ?
Speaker 3If .
Speaker 2I would , I could .
Speaker 3If I could , I would In a day or two when they're supposed to come back and get her . You're going to find out . They dumped her and moved .
Speaker 2Why is the dog still here ?
Speaker 3Oh , they went to Massachusetts . Oh , they went to Massachusetts . No , she's in Florida , so that's where they're going to live now . The dog's a North Carolina dog . Now you know what .
Speaker 2I think I really need to get a beverage . Okay , but it's already a North Carolina dog .
Speaker 3It was born here , I know , but it was going to go to Florida .
Speaker 2No , but it didn't go to Florida . I know you got it , it doesn't matter . Okay , but what do you mean ? It's going to be a North Carolina dog now .
Speaker 3It's always been a North Carolina dog . You live in North Carolina and she lives in Florida now . Yeah , but the dog lived here too , I know , and she lives in .
Speaker 2Florida . Now , yeah , but the dog lived here too , I know . So how can it be now ? It makes no sense .
Speaker 3If she took it with her , it would be a Florida dog .
Speaker 2But she did not take it with her .
Speaker 3That's my point , so it remains .
Speaker 2That's my point . It remains a North Carolina dog .
Speaker 3Okay , that's my point altogether .
Speaker 2You say tomato , I say tomato .
Speaker 3Either way , you're having tacos with those tomato tomatoes .
Speaker 2And you know what If I had to get stuck with another ?
Speaker 3dog , that'd be the one she's . So how bad can it be . Exactly , she's a sweetheart .
Speaker 2She is , I would not throw it out in the street . No , no , I wouldn't throw a mean dog out in the street . Trust me , if I had the money , it'd probably be like a zoo here . Oh , I know I would have a zoo .
Speaker 3It'd be ridiculous . I would have a big cage in the back for Bigfoot , because I know my wife would own one .
Speaker 2Oh yeah .
Speaker 3Because you'll definitely find one of those as soon as the government releases all the information and everything , and we can have them for pets . You know what ?
Speaker 2I was ready to say you know what I'm happy about , Tom ? We don't have to talk about Bigfoot anymore . I think it was out the fucking window . So much for that shit . So anyway , there we go .
Speaker 3Get Bigfoot out of your system . Well , I was just saying hey , did you know ? In Canada they call him Big Meter . No , they don't ?
Speaker 2Oh , now you're making shit up . I thought it sounded good . Oh , it does sound pretty good . I'll give you credit on that , but that's not what they call it .
Speaker 3That would be a real big foot . Yeah , because that's three feet yeah . A little over A little over . You know the people who make yardsticks . They're not going to be making them any longer . Why ? Because they're only a yard .
Speaker 2Come on . See , that's what you have to deal with with me .
Speaker 3So how has everybody been ? This is our sixth . I've been fine , not you . Everybody else , oh well , I'm the only one here . We're talking to other people .
Speaker 2Right now .
Speaker 3Yes , right now ?
Speaker 2Are they listening right now ? I hope so . No , they're not listening right now . Well , they will be . We're not live .
Speaker 3Okay , no , we're not listening right now .
Speaker 2Well , they will be . We're not live . Okay , no , we're not live .
Speaker 3You're talking to me , but we have five other ones they could be listening to right now . Do I need ?
Speaker 2to be rude to you .
Speaker 3Oh , yeah , yeah , yeah , you be rude and I'll talk about Winnie the Pooh Shit you know nothing about .
Speaker 2I'm not really rude . Yeah , I am I . Yeah , I am . I'm a freaking northerner . What can I say ? Sorry , we love Not sorry , but I love living in North Carolina .
Speaker 3This little spat right here , I would never go back to the north . This little spat right here is a shout out to Fuzzy . He brought this on . Fuzzy Wuzzy , yep , fuzzy Wuzzy . He was my buddy and this is a shout out to you for listening . He was my buddy and this is a shout out to you for listening . You're awesome . Give us that feedback . Hey , fuzzy , but you bastard . He's awesome , but we do take all of the suggestions , let's say and he's going , just don't be too mean .
Speaker 3No , he says he's going to brush up on some Russian . No , Winnie the Pooh and .
Speaker 2Tigger too , I did say that , but I'm really not going to . I'm not going to .
Speaker 3Oh well , I'm sure you wouldn't , because you're probably not going to brush up on it , because you can't read .
Speaker 2There's not a picture book .
Speaker 3Well , there's a few pictures .
Speaker 2Oh , and it doesn't matter .
Speaker 3Well , the only pictures that I remember from back in the day .
Speaker 2Remember back in the day .
Speaker 3When he dropped or when he rolled around in the mud , dropped his balls no , oh no , I don't know that was a different episode . I don't remember that far back . I'm not sure how old he was when those things dropped , okay , but when he rolled around in the mud and tied balloons around him , so he'd look like a rain cloud . Tut , tut , looks like rain . Yeah that sounds stupid . Well , doesn't it sound familiar , because that's an episode .
Speaker 2Yeah , that's why I usually say Tut-tut , looks like rain .
Speaker 3But in the book , the only picture it shows is him with the balloons and mud dripping off of him . Oh , there you go . That's why .
Speaker 2No , I watched the TV show . See , that's better , remember , I can't read Right . Well , well then why would you ask me a stupid question like that ? Why would you embarrass me like that ? I'm not embarrassing you . You just did .
Speaker 3No no no , no remember you can't read . No , I didn't embarrass you , I embarrassed me . Yeah , yeah , when you said I know that's why I watch the show .
Speaker 2Oh , oops , yeah well there you go , shit happens .
Speaker 3See you don't have the answers to everything .
Speaker 2No , I do not .
Speaker 3No .
Speaker 2I do not , tom , certainly don't .
Speaker 3Well , see , you can ask me , ask me anything , I have answers to everything you do .
Speaker 2Yep , all right . Ever see people that leave their Christmas lights up all year long ? Does that bug you ? I don't know why this came up , but it's just bothering me .
Speaker 3Yeah , yeah , it kind of does you know .
Speaker 2I like Christmas lights . You might be Just not in July .
Speaker 3If you trip over Christmas lights hunting Easter eggs , you might be a redneck .
Speaker 2See why are your Christmas lights out at Easter eggs you might be a redneck See . Why are your Christmas lights out ?
Speaker 3at Easter . Yeah , Well see , but I remember this little story about Christmas lights . Wait , you have a story about Christmas lights .
Speaker 2I have a story about Christmas lights , of course , you do Continue .
Christmas Light Bulb Confession
Speaker 3This part will designate for a listener in austin who was in austin oh , nope , nope , nope , austin , austin , austin texas okay gotcha hope y'all are okay . After all the storms saw that . Oh , there's a shout out to you guys . Yeah , that's , but anyway , uh , you're .
Speaker 3That's terrible , but anyway , houston got hit bad . Yeah , he and I and a couple other friends of mine back when we were wee teens Okay , we decided we were going to get into some mischief . You go on a minute , take a little sippy poop . There you go . You can't get a sippy . Don't stop , man . There goes his eyeballs bulging out again , anyway , go ahead .
Speaker 2I'm listening .
Speaker 3So me and a few of these other guys , we decided we were going to slip around . Back in the day , when I was young , we had a small town . It was a very small town and people decided that they were gonna put christmas lights out on their house . But a lot of them put christmas lights on their trees , out in their yard . That's a lot of people do a lot of people do that nothing wrong with that well , these were the big bulb lights like the not the little bitty lights .
Speaker 2Oh , the old-fashioned ones .
Speaker 3Yeah Well , we decided we were going to go around town and take a few of these lights off of these trees . Okay , sneak around into the neighborhoods and some of the nicer houses that had all their beautiful lights and everything . We decided we were going to go get a few lights , just a few lights . It worked out okay . The first night we were having a good time . The second night we decided to go hit another area .
Speaker 2Pardon me for a second . Are you just taking light bulbs ? Yes , just the bulbs .
Speaker 3Just the bulbs . We would unscrew them , leave the lights up so they would only notice there's a bulb out , I know , One bulb goes out , they all go out .
Speaker 2I get it .
Speaker 3No , no , no no , no , not these , evidently . Oh , those are good ones yeah , because it was only a couple of days later , when everybody in town was noticing there's like a bulb missing here . A bulb there Were they the same color bulbs or were they different colors ? No , they were all different colors . But the cool thing about these bulbs we found out as cold as it was outside . If you throw them down , they pop . If you throw them up in the air and they hit the concrete , they pop .
Speaker 2Right .
Speaker 3So here's our bright idea when a car comes by , we're going to toss them out there and they'll think they blew a tire . Talk about people wanting to beat your ass . I don't know what it is about thinking you had a blowed out tire . I want you to beat the shit out of somebody ?
Speaker 2I have no idea , tom , but these people will chase you . Why'd they be upset about that ?
Speaker 3I don't understand , but anyway , I get flat tires all the time .
Speaker 2I don't get pissed off at one of them , so did you let them see you do it ? No , were you hiding ?
Speaker 3Yes , were you hiding ?
Speaker 2Yes , Then how did they run after you if you were hiding no ?
Speaker 3no no . No , we were hiding . But when they slammed on the brakes we all said , oh shit , they see us and we took off running . Then they saw us . But , anyway , you panicked . They kind of knew who we were yeah , probably in the neighborhood .
Speaker 2Yeah , had those kind of issues myself , so we decided not to throw them at cars . Okay , that was a bad idea , right , so ?
Speaker 3now , what are we going to do with all these lights we got ? We had light bulbs in our pockets . So I had this brilliant idea I have this shoe box at my house . Right , brilliant idea , I have this shoebox at my house . At my house , it was a little junkyard outside , I guess Sanford and Sundish , excellent , had an old refrigerator out there in the backyard and I said , well , we're going to put all these light bulbs in this box and hide them behind the refrigerator . Perfect , that refrigerator had been there I don't know a couple years . Right the next day , the landlord came to clean junk up around the house .
Speaker 3So my mom's showing him stuff that he can take . You know you can take this , you can take . Oh yeah , this old refrigerator doesn't work . You can take it out of here too . Damn Tom , here is a box of bulbs . Wonder where these all came from . So I got questioned . I don't have a clue . Someone put them there . Yeah , somebody .
Speaker 2Somebody tried to frame your ass .
Speaker 3They did , I guess , but yeah me . Somebody tried to frame your ass . They did , I guess , but yeah me , I tried to sabotage my own problem . So anyway , long story short , too late for that right .
Speaker 2Right , how old were you at this time , oh God ?
Speaker 3Probably 14 , 15 , maybe .
Speaker 3You really have been an idiot for a long time . Oh yeah , like I said before , damn Tom Idi . Idiots come from a long line in my family . Anyway , I'm sorry , was that too rude ? No , no , no , okay , cool , you're fine . That was true . That was just truth , right there . So here we go with here . I'm just wondering what am I going to tell these people ? I don't know where the lights came from . Mom finally broke me down , as mothers do . I really don't remember I wimped out . I guess I just I my mom . She would beat the shit out of you with anything you pussied out .
Speaker 2Yeah , Well , moms can do that to you though . Oh man , moms can do that .
Speaker 3Yeah , she , she was something else . Love her to death , but man she was . She had a way of getting stuff If she didn't hear the story .
Speaker 2So you said I'm sorry , my friends did it . They hid it behind the fridge . I told them not to , but they did anyways . Was it one of them stories ? No , it was one of these stories .
Speaker 3I took them and the closest house to my house was the one I said . I took them from Thinking , you know , it'll all be over if I just tell her .
Speaker 2What'd ? They have two missing and you got like 20? .
Speaker 3I don't know how many they had missing , but we took quite a few . Now consider , you've got to understand . We broke a lot before all this happened , so there could have been a lot , a lot of bulbs there , but there wasn't .
Speaker 2We'd already broke a lot , enough to put in a shoebox .
Speaker 3Yeah , exactly . So enough to make my mom ask questions . So then , anyway , she makes me . I told her it was the house down the street . There's a block or two down , and we took a few because that was the closest one . That was the very first one we took , so I told her .
Speaker 3I said , well , it was Mr and Mrs down the street here , and she's like all right , get them , let's go . I said where are we going Down to their house ? She said we're going down their house and you're going to give them their lights back . I'm like , well , wait a minute , some of them are theirs , but not all of them . What do you mean ? I said well , this is . She said it doesn't matter , bring those and come on , we'll let them get what they want out of it and we'll go to the next one . I'm like this is going to take all night , kind of like the night we stole them all . It took a little bit that time too , but anyway . So I'm standing in front of this door . I didn't want to knock , I wasn't going to , but I turned around and there my mom was standing out the sidewalk at the street waiting on me , just with her arms folded , you know , just waiting for me to yeah that mom look .
Speaker 3Yep , yep , just waiting on me to start talking . Well , pretty soon . I tap on the door a little bit and I hear mom in the background . You're going to have to knock louder than that . So I yep , yep , pretty much a tap , tap , tap . Well , pretty soon . I knock on the door and here comes this elderly gentleman he was , did you know ?
Speaker 2him .
Speaker 3We lived in a town of very few people we'd met . Okay , so anyway , he said yeah , what's up ? I said I have a confession to make , so I go on with the story about how I've stole these lights and this and that and I was bringing them back to him . He and his wife were so impressed of my honesty .
Speaker 2Because your mom made you go . That's beside the point . Okay , all right , whatever . Still , they rewarded me with $5 . I thought you were going to tell me they gave you the light bulbs .
Speaker 3No , no , they were happy to get the bulbs back . They paid me $5 for being honest . What ?
Speaker 2did your mother have ?
Speaker 3to say to this she didn't , let me keep it .
Speaker 2Mm-hmm , that's what I thought .
Speaker 3They wouldn't take it back , and she was right , but she did . Anyway , mom kept it . But here's the deal .
Speaker 2I'm sure you got some money out of it one way or the other , so a week or two later .
Speaker 3Now this town is so small that they put out a newspaper once a week .
Speaker 2Don't tell me it's like nice boy , oh God .
Speaker 3Here comes the Christmas miracle . What is this ? A Lifetime movie ? It was a Christmas miracle , oh good Lord , that's what the damn newspaper said . All my buddies were pissed off . They didn't get $5 in a story in the newspaper but I did .
Speaker 2You didn't get $5 either .
Speaker 3But then , after everybody was aware of what was going on , they all started turning in their Christmas lights and us guys had to go to the sheriff's office a couple days later and set up a little payment arrangements . You uh rat out your friends no , they , they all pretty much knew , they all knew who we were because we ran together and uh , yeah , that was .
Speaker 2Yeah , that kind of sucks like growing up at certain people yeah , but hey , we had a freaking ball .
Speaker 3we had so much much fun and , yeah , that's a Christmas light story I won't ever forget .
Speaker 2That's pretty effed up . Yeah Well , not the last part .
Speaker 3Well , and the funny ?
Speaker 2thing about it was You're taking people's Christmas away from them .
Speaker 3My buddy comes to school the next day and he says hey , they figured out who it was and we're all gonna have to go in there . So his dad's picking us up after school , taking us to the sheriff's department , right . And so the sheriff's department tells us that we stole 300 and some dollars worth of christmas lights all over town . Holy shit , evidently everybody was doing this and we were the ones that got caught , because I know we didn't steal $300 .
Speaker 2Why did you get caught ?
Speaker 3Oh , I don't know , we were stupid . No , why did you get caught ? Because I hid them in a shoebox behind the refrigerator .
Speaker 2That was there for two years that finally got to go to the dump .
Speaker 3Yeah well , it was there for two years . Who's going to come and mess with the refrigerator now ?
Speaker 2The landlord .
Speaker 3Yeah , that's why you should own and not rent .
Speaker 2There you go , keep people out of your backyard , Out of your yard period .
Speaker 3Oh Lord , but anyway .
Speaker 2Lord , you know what sucks Tom , what you know , I'm kind of a hockey fan .
Ice Cream Flavors and Hockey Fans
Speaker 2I am a hockey fan Right yeah , I'm kind of a hockey fan . I am a hockey fan Right yeah , I'm a Bruins fan . Two years in a row we lost to the Florida Panthers .
Speaker 3Sucks . Wait a minute . No heart in that team . I have a question what's that ? What the hell does Florida know about hockey ?
Speaker 2Yeah , I don't get it either , but you know what Didn't hockey play on ice ? Let's put it this way . Let's say , most of your great hockey players come from Europe or other countries . Okay , canada , wouldn't you rather live in Florida than some shithole , freaking , cold-ass country ?
Speaker 3Not if you're used to it .
Speaker 2Eh , some people aren't . Let's see , you know , everybody looks at that . Miami nightlife , florida , great place to visit . Sorry wasn't for me 17 years , nope , yeah , felt like it was a groundhog day . Oh , it's hot again . Cool , awesome , excellent , it's warm again , hey , excellent Tropical weather .
Speaker 3Oh rain .
Speaker 2Rain at 3 o'clock Excellent .
Speaker 3Yeah , let's have a cookout . Okay , how about 435 ?
Speaker 2Because it's used to be in all the time when I did the business . It's like why every time I'm here at this time , does it freaking pour every single day ? It sucks , but it is what it is , yeah .
Speaker 3Speaking of rain .
Speaker 2Can't take me away from frickin' North Carolina though . I love this state yeah but , Love it here .
Speaker 3It's been raining here for like three days .
Speaker 2I don't care , you got mountains . That's what I like . The beach is awesome , but that's not for me . All the time Speaking of the beach .
Speaker 3That's where my son went .
Speaker 2Yeah , it kind of looks a little cloudy there .
Speaker 3I saw a little picture on Facebook , yeah , where there's a coffee cup out on the yeah , how original of him .
Speaker 2Yeah , Real original Josh . Yeah , you keep that up , buddy .
Speaker 3Nobody's , ever no one's doing that .
Speaker 2You be you .
Speaker 3Josh , I hope you're having a good time .
Speaker 2You know what else is good , though . There's some good ice cream places in Florida oh , is there Some of them ? Probably better up north though .
Speaker 3You've known me for five years . What's one of my favorite snacks ? Ice cream . Oh no , you can't lip that I can't say that no because I do like to snack on that .
Speaker 2That's more of a meal oh , you call it a meal , I call it a dessert okay , well , what yeah no , no oh , let's not go there , okay , the funny thing is that I bring ice cream up . I know how you love different foods , different flavors , all kinds Different things . We've done this a couple times already . Not stupid flavors . No , these aren't stupid . These are really good flavors . Oh , are they ? Yeah , you'll like these . Well , let's see , all right . So I got these flavors for you and I like to read them off . These are strawberry balsamic .
Speaker 2Wait a minute , Okay balsamic Salt and straw twisted the tart flavor of balsamic vinegar into a top-selling strawberry ice cream that's what I thought .
Speaker 3Vinegar Wait a minute .
Speaker 2This unusual ice cream has gone from a cult favorite in Portland Oregon . Need I say any more ? Yes , cult favorite To a national obsession .
Speaker 3That's when people want to die altogether . They eat that shit .
Speaker 2Salt and Straw has opened scoop shops in LA and Miami , and that Disney world .
Speaker 3That explains it . Those three places right there are what you do . That's where you go when you want vinegar in your damn ice cream .
Speaker 2Why does that not sound like a good flavor to me at all ?
Speaker 3Because it's got vinegar in it .
Speaker 2That's terrible .
Speaker 3Yeah , I don't even like vinegar on fish .
Speaker 2We have an . Are you ready for the next one ? Go for it .
Speaker 3Earl .
Speaker 2Grey , that first one sucked . Is that a coffee or a tea ? A flavor Tea ? Earl Grey , yeah , coffee , ice cream , let's see , includes classics like Sicilian pistachio and cookies and cream .
Speaker 3Oh , pistachio I love pistachio ice cream , I can't share attention . Hey , why can we not find ?
Speaker 2Oh , look it , here we go . Earl Grey ice cream is made by a steeping tea and whole milk , then adding cream , eggs and sugar . Top off your scoop with homemade French madeleines .
Speaker 3What the hell is that ? Okay , here's the thing . I don't really care what kind of bolts are in it . Right , I just like my car .
Speaker 2Okay , I don't care what they put in it how do we get on a car ?
Speaker 3I don't care what they're putting in that damn ice cream , I just like it
Ice Cream Flavor Reviews
Speaker 3. Okay , like the sound of it , I like the flavor ice cream , but but I don't need to know . They're putting sugar and eggs and all that bullshit I don't need to know that why all I need to know is what flavor it's going to be when I put it in my mouth .
Speaker 2Okay , well , let me move on to the next one , because that other one a little bit ago was stupid .
Speaker 3Oh Well , I'm sorry .
Speaker 2Yeah , well , well , how about this one ? Okay , let's try it , this is from Sparky's Homemade Ice Cream in Columbia , Missouri . Lavender honey .
Speaker 3Sounds like a candle . Why would I want to eat a candle out of a cone ?
Speaker 2Would you like me to read you the description here ? You don't need to . The vibrant purple flower adds subtle floral flavor to lavender desserts like shortbread tea cakes and ice cream . Sparky's homemade ice cream is a beloved Missouri institution known for unique flavors like mandarin orange , dark chocolate and banana nutella , but the famous lavender honey ice cream may be the best .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 2What do you think Key ?
Speaker 3word May All right , may be the best , it's not . I have one , you're going to love .
Speaker 2Speaking of sparking , this is from Gilroy , california .
Speaker 3Oh God , garlic Sure if Gilroy California .
Speaker 2Oh .
Speaker 3God Garlic Sure . If you're a vampire , If you want to stay away from vampires , just get this fucking ice cream right here here . Shoe in , Got vampire problems . Crack you open a bottle of Sparky's fucking garlic ice cream .
Speaker 2Let me read the description here Gilroy , california , is the garlic capital of the world . Of course it is . You'll find garlic in all sorts of unexpected places like ice cream . Yeah , there are multiple shops across Gilroy that serve this local classic as traditional scoops and soft serve . You can't soft serve me , you can't beat that , sure you can't . Visits the Garlic City Cafe , the Garlic Shop and the Garlic World Told you they were garlic crazy for this ice cream . Garlic ice cream Thoughts .
Speaker 3None , I have no thoughts for garlic ice cream .
Speaker 2None at all . Not really , because I don't have a vampire problem , so we're going to skip right by that , yeah let's just skip .
Speaker 3That's like , hey , let's skip by that one , like we did the squid Lay's potato chips a couple of weeks ago .
Speaker 2Here's one I don't think I can relate to . Okay , this is the name of the ice cream , cereal milk .
Speaker 3Okay , think about it for a second . I did . Okay , I did . My first question is which cereal ?
Speaker 2All right , let me read you this the best part of breakfast is drinking the delicious milk left behind after eating a bowl of cereal Depending on what cereal when Milk Bar decided to turn First off .
Speaker 3I'm not going to drink the milk after a bowl of Cheerios . Why ? Because Cheerios already taste like paper .
Speaker 2Why are you reading Cheerios then ? Exactly ? What about the flavored Cheerios ?
Speaker 3Yeah , they had to throw flavor in them and start selling them .
Speaker 2All right , Let me read this when Milk Bar decided to turn that cereal milk into ice cream . Wait a minute . Are they taking old people's milk and just throwing it in ?
Speaker 3a bowl and collecting it . How many people drink the rest of their milk after they finish their cereal ?
Speaker 2Well , they said here , the dessert world changed forever . Head to one of Milk Bar's retail locations to try cereal milk , or check the freezer at your grocery store .
Speaker 3It's nationwide .
Speaker 2That's what it says .
Speaker 3Oh well , I've never seen it .
Speaker 2Okay , this is right up your alley . Uh-oh , you're going to love this flavor .
Speaker 3Is it what ?
Speaker 2Mountain Oyster . You're sitting down . That's good Cheetos Flaming Hot Ice Cream I would eat the hell out of that .
Speaker 3Put it in a cone cup , I don't care .
Speaker 2This is Marble Slab , texas and Southeast State , so you can't get that here . Well , that's dumb Sure . We love cheese puffs and we definitely love Cheetos , but an ice cream , yep , yep . Marble Slab Creamery turned this cheesy snack into a cold creamy treat . I believe that would be a cold creamy treat . This ice cream features a sweet cream base with a Flaming Hot Cheetos crushed and distributed throughout . Wait , whoa , whoa , whoa .
Speaker 3Back up , this ice cream has a Cheeto crust .
Speaker 2Flaming Hot Cheetos crushed and distributed throughout . Oh , crushed , I thought you said it was crushed .
Speaker 3And you can get it in a milkshake form .
Speaker 2Oh Well , is that going to quench your thirst ?
Speaker 3You know why I don't make milkshakes ?
Speaker 2Wait a minute . Wait a minute . Let me finish this limited edition flavor . I don't want you to miss out . Okay has appeared on the menu more than once , so if you're near one of the Marble Slabs 250 locations , keep an eye out .
Speaker 3Okay .
Speaker 2All right .
Speaker 3Yeah , I don't make milkshakes . Brings all your boys to the yard . I don't want anybody in my fucking yard .
Speaker 2I don't blame you for that , Tom .
Speaker 3Don't blame me at all . Don't need any more people in your yard . That's why I live all the way out in BMS . There you go .
Speaker 2Are you ready for the next one ? I'm ready . I'm ready for ice cream anytime .
Speaker 3This one is called Cold Sweat .
Speaker 2Okay , that sounds interesting . All right , get this at Sunny Skies , angier North Carolina . Safe Kind of local Wait a minute , wait a minute .
Speaker 3Scream out to Angier we have a listener in Angier . There we go .
Speaker 2Do not . How often do you find an ice cream flavor that's so extreme that you need to sign a waiver to try it ? Oh , never .
Speaker 3How often does that ?
Speaker 2happen to you . It's never happened to me Me either . This ice cream from Sunny Skies is seriously spicy , with some customers describing it as a frozen fire . It uses two different hot sauces and it's creamy base and has real chunks of three types of chili peppers , including habaneros and ghost peppers . You know what ?
Speaker 3I might try that Well here's I'm going to be honest , that kind of intrigues me a little bit , this hot ice cream is very interesting because you know how milk products take the heat away anyway a little bit , and the bite would be awesome with that . Cool , I'm not going to lie . This cold sweat's got me intrigued . Yeah , I think all this hot stuff has . Where can I get this cold sweat ? Oh well , it's nationwide . You can get it anywhere you want .
Speaker 2No , this one doesn't say that . Oh , here we go . This you can get at Dakota Drug Company Stanley North Dakota Dill pickle flavor .
Speaker 3Now see , that's my wife Sally , not mine . She likes dill pickles . I like dill pickles but I don't believe I want my ice cream dill pickles . But I found some dill pickles , slim Jim's .
Speaker 2Stop , man , you're freaking , killing me . Man , stop talking , just stop .
Speaker 3I just was going to say I don't care for dill pickles . Okay , I mean I care for dill pickles Maybe we should just get off the dill pickles . I like the dill pickles , but I don't think I would like it in an ice cream .
Speaker 2I think I'm going to leave you know what ? There's another one here . Everybody loves this flavor Vanilla . Yeah , kind of close , I guess you could look like it .
Speaker 3It looks like that craft macaroni and cheese that is so fucking stupid that I don't know what even to say about that .
Speaker 2Okay first off , you can . First of all , I just want to shout out to Van Leeuwen I guess Brooklyn , new York and Nationwide , that's where you can get that , yeah .
Speaker 3Okay , first off , macaroni and cheese is Nationwide . It is . Ice cream is Nationwide Correct , but when you put the two together , you cannot say that they're Nationwide . Well , that's what this tells me ? No , what that tells me is the guy who invented that is a dumb .
Speaker 2Let me read it to you . It says , yes , boxed mac and cheese is all reliable . It's a shortcut to cheesy , saucy noodles . But while we love to follow this comfort food with a bowl of ice cream , we've got to be honest , we never saw the two coming together .
Speaker 3No .
Speaker 2Tom still can't see the two coming together .
Speaker 3Okay . For instance Okay . I have sold ice cream for the best ice cream company in the world at one point .
Speaker 2Would you really say it's the best ? I would . It's up there .
Speaker 3I would have no , Because it was in my opinion .
Speaker 2You don't work for them anymore .
Speaker 3No , because they're not around anymore .
Speaker 2Well , they are just a different name .
Speaker 3Yeah , but anyways . But yeah , the big yellow truck sold the best ice cream in the world , but anyway .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 3I won't say the name , because it's stupid that they closed it . Okay , no , I didn't , I'm just saying Would they sell this flavor ?
Speaker 2No , are you sure ? I'm absolutely sure . What if a couple people requested it ? No , would they tell them to go pound sand ?
Speaker 3No , a couple people requested free giveaways , but they never got that .
Speaker 2I'm not asking for free shit . Oh , I'm saying I would like this flavor .
Speaker 3Yeah , not me personally , I think it's putrid , I think it's cross-contamination when you make ice cream , do you want ? Mac and cheese . Let's be realistic when I think of mac and cheese , macaroni and cheese , ice cream , are you being realistic ?
Speaker 2Am I buying ?
Speaker 3Kraft . No , no , is it Breyers ?
Speaker 2No , I told you though Van whatever .
Speaker 3Yeah , see , Nobody knows who he is because he makes stupid flavors Now Liver , mush and eggs People live up north , let's say Massachusetts , maine .
Speaker 2What do they get off the coast that they love , c Massachusetts ?
Speaker 3Maine . What do they get off the coast that they love ? Crab legs .
Speaker 2No .
Speaker 3Shrimp no .
Speaker 2What's big up there In Maine , crustacean Lobster ? You have it , tom , you have lobster flavored ice cream .
Speaker 3Does it come with butter sauce ?
Speaker 2Oh , here's weird Ben and Bill's Chocolate Emporium . Ben and Bill Bill's Chocolate Emporium . Ben and Bill's Chocolate Emporium .
Speaker 3I don't want to know anything about Ben and Bill's .
Speaker 2Chocolate Emporium .
Speaker 3Massachusetts and Maine . Is that like two girls in a cup ?
Speaker 2All right , it actually with its vanilla bean . And there you go Tom butter base and lobster pulled fresh from the Atlantic , then cooked and chopped . This ice cream steals the show at the Chocolate Emporium . And no , the lobster ice cream does not contain chocolate , like the name of the shop might imply . The candy red flecks of lobster made for a pretty presentation . Don't knock it till you try it . I just read that right there . Yeah , I could tell . That's not from me saying yeah , I could tell . Okay , I'm not that well spoken .
Speaker 3Yeah well , I'm gonna tell you something what's that ?
Speaker 2you love it . You love the sound of it .
Speaker 3I'm not well spoken either right and I do understand that when we were kids , all the rumors oh , ice creams are made of seaweed and blah , blah blah . But it doesn't need to be made of anything that lives in the ocean .
Speaker 2But this is lobster that lives in the ocean . Lobster with vanilla ice cream .
Speaker 3Okay , that's fine . I like maybe some lobster with some vanilla ice cream on the side , mixed . No , no , no , eat the lobster . Dip it in the no , no , no , eat the lobster dip it in the butter sauce .
Speaker 2Right , no , no , it has the butter sauce in it . That's dumb .
Speaker 3Okay , first off , when I look at the ingredients on my ice cream , I want it to say sugar cream and ice Nut butter . No , not butter . Oh , I said nut butter , oh no , no , we don't want to have the nut butter . No almond milk , Real milk From a cow teat .
Speaker 2Here's what I think you're going to like . I really think you're going to like this .
Speaker 3You really think I'm going to like this . I do . I love all kinds of ice cream . I believe . Josh would like this , so far you've not hit my string yet .
Speaker 2Vanilla with sweet sriracha sauce Sriracha , yeah , that's it . How's that sound ? All the hot ice creams are kind of appealing to me , but that sounds good no , yeah , all the hot ice creams are kind of appealing to me . How did I mess that up ? By the way , I don't know , how did I not say sriracha ?
Speaker 3I ? How did I mess that up ? By the way ? How did I not say sriracha ? I don't know . It says snake , the snake got him the snake , you silly snake , fear you , silly snake . Anyways .
Speaker 2Oh , this vegan ice cream is hot .
Speaker 3Wait a minute , I'm confused . Did you say vegan ice cream ? I did . Is that what it says ? Move to the next one . I don't even want to have anything to do with vegan . No offense to all you plant-based people Offense . But I saved your life . I killed a cow that eats nothing but Vegetables and turned it right into a hamburger . Yeah , so that's kind of a vegan meal . I'm sort of vegan , all right .
Speaker 2How about the Arabian Rosewater Pistachio Cherry ?
Speaker 3Anything with pistachio . That actually sounds damn good , I'm game with pistachios and cherries .
Speaker 2Wait a minute . Here's the name of the company Ow Ow Cow . Ow Ow Cow provides itself on a farm-to-table flavor that makes its ice cream with organic cream and milk , cage-free eggs and local raw honey . So far , that sounds great , In addition to the classic flavors like vanilla , mint , chocolate and strawberry , made with fresh berries Awesome . Wow , I can't read this name again , it just cracks me up . Au , Au Cao is also known for the weird ice cream flavors inspired by the bounty of local farms .
Speaker 2Yeah , Not to mention their weird name , like Arabian Rosewater , pistachio Cherry , I like that . Lemon Basil , no . And Green Apple Riesling . Riesling , okay , green and green apple Riesling .
Speaker 3Riesling . Okay , green apple's got me , I can do green apple .
Speaker 2God didn't make , how would you feel about Old Bay caramel ?
Speaker 3I'm not a caramel fan All right , we'll move on this has got your favorite word in it .
Unusual Ice Cream Flavors Discussion
Speaker 2How about grape nut ?
Speaker 3I used to love grape nut cereal . Does it taste like grape nut cereal ? Wait , they probably made that from the milk , from the grape nuts . Well , let's read .
Speaker 2Every dad's must-have breakfast cereal is also an ice cream flavor . I kind of like that You're right , des . In eastern Canada , new England and parts of the Caribbean , ice cream mixed with crunchy grape nut cereal is as much of a staple as vanilla or chocolate . If your curiosity is piqued by the flavor , find it at places like Brooklyn-based Island Pops , which ships it to Trinidad-flavored treats nationwide . Okay , what ?
Speaker 3I don't understand what the places that . It's a big thing .
Speaker 2Eastern Canada , new England and parts of the Caribbean . What the hell is Caribbean ? I don't know how they get in there all of a sudden .
Speaker 3I mean the two coldest places in the world Caribbean .
Speaker 2So everybody in between hates it obviously , Except for you .
Speaker 3Oh my goodness , the Caribbean . What's that got to do with it ?
Speaker 2Sweet avocado cayenne .
Speaker 3I like avocado , but I don't want cayenne .
Speaker 2No , you don't need cayenne , we're going to skip that . Yeah , Now I'm going to admit , Mikey likes this one Right off the bat . Pink lemonade pop rocks Ooh , now , that does sound interesting . That sounds very good . Yes , it does , For a mix of fresh squeezed lemonade and tingly pop rocks . Max and Mina's ice cream has the perfect scoop . Max and Mina , you did all right , Max and Mina's . Oh , the tart pink flavored . Oh the part . Oh , I'm sorry . The tart pink lemonade flavor is backed up by a strange sensation Crackling pop rocks . The New York-based parlor's crazy flavors have been featured on Food Network's Outrageous Foods . Eh , if all trusted taste buds , I think it's packed with outlandish flavors like strawberry , horseradish and lox Lox . You know you dip that shit in lox .
Speaker 3I don't like lox Me neither .
Speaker 2I'm going to get this for November .
Speaker 3Uh-oh Turkey .
Speaker 2Thanksgiving dinner .
Speaker 3In a box of ice cream .
Speaker 2You don't have to go spend all that money . You just buy yourself a pint and you get yourself a Thanksgiving dinner . What do you think of ?
Speaker 3that , honey , you burnt the turkey . But don't worry , I got Thanksgiving dinner in a box of ice cream .
Speaker 2Tell me that's not a money saver , though .
Speaker 3Yeah , well , it is a money saver . It depends .
Speaker 2With its impressive flavor list , the ice cream store has become an obsession both in and out of the home state . Of all the odd options it's offered , thanksgiving dinner might be the weirdest , can you think ? The seasonal specialty is made with vanilla , ice cream , tomatoes , potatoes , green beans , then topped off with hot sauce and granulated sugar . The shop is also known for ponderful flavors such as the swirl with the dragon cashews . At midnight in Paris , that does not sound good after all . First off , midnight in .
Speaker 2Paris Thanksgiving dinner does not sound good . Thanksgiving dinner sounds good . Yeah , thanksgiving dinner . Ice cream does not sound good at all . Don't like the sound of it , don't like the .
Speaker 3It's like . It's like dill pickles . I like dill pickles , but I don't think I would want dill pickle ice cream pickles . I like dill pickles , but I don't think I would want dill pickle ice cream .
Speaker 2Alright last but not least Okay , I mean there's more , but these are the ones I .
Speaker 3Goat cheese with red cherries I don't eat , Never mind . It's just that it's so completely stupid .
Speaker 2I don't have words Wait a minute For a frozen treat that tastes exactly like cherry cheesecake .
Speaker 3No , see , I don't care for cherry cheesecake .
Speaker 2Jenny's Splendid Ice Creams make a flavor that sounds strange but is so good . Wait a minute . The delicate combination of tight roasted cherries and creamy goat cheese has helped build Jenny's into a nationwide brand . Isn't it the shit that Nancy Pelosi had in her frickin' freezer , jennies ? Now that I'm reading this , you frickin' never mind , I wasn't gonna do that today . Anyways , that's pretty much it . Those are some little frickin' weird ones . There's more , but we're not gonna go over all of them .
Speaker 3Yeah , ice cream isn't meant to be messed with .
Speaker 2I just wanted to hear your opinions on some of these flavors , because ice cream isn't meant to be messed with .
Speaker 3Ice cream is ice cream . And no , I'm not like the old boring . I want vanilla , I want chocolate , I want strawberry . I like the walnuts , the almonds , the peanuts .
Speaker 2You like who's nuts ?
Speaker 3Yeah , whatever , no , no , not whatever Mixed nuts .
Speaker 2I'm going to cut that out .
Speaker 3I should have said that . I mean Suzuki . Suzuki we mean some other motorcycle , some other motorcycle . Not a Harley .
Speaker 2Not a Harley , that would be stupid .
Speaker 3Yeah , it's just . I don't know these flavors are just . I peddled ice cream for many years .
Speaker 2Let's talk about the mac and cheese .
Speaker 3Oh my God , why would you bring that one back up ? Because that's the furthest thing away from okay .
Speaker 2Right .
Speaker 3That and garlic . What are people fucking thinking ?
Speaker 2I don't understand garlic ice cream .
Speaker 3I don't understand mac and cheese ice cream .
Speaker 2I don't understand garlic ice cream I don't understand mac and cheese ice cream .
Speaker 3I don't understand Cheetos flaming hot ice cream . I could get by with that .
Speaker 2No , okay , the other day speaking of crunchies . Here we go .
Speaker 3No , the other day I got given a big Reese's peanut butter cup with potato chips in it . Now , whoever thought that sounds stupid ? That is stupid , it is dumb . Did you eat it ?
Speaker 2Both of them and I loved them . There's something wrong with you , anyways , Probably so .
Speaker 3Yeah , there is Probably so , no doubt about it , but they were pretty good .
Speaker 2Your point . I don't know you would eat mac and cheese ice cream . No , I wouldn't . You just tried to make that point .
Speaker 3No .
Speaker 2I tried it .
Speaker 3It sounded good , but you ate it and you loved it , yeah , but I wouldn't do that with the mac and cheese .
Speaker 2Plus , I use a lot of chocolate syrup on my ice cream .
Speaker 3So I like it . See , I like chocolate . I've got chocolate syrup in my refrigerator right now because of that .
Speaker 2Yeah , I know what you do with chocolate syrup . We're talking about two different things . Still , yeah , we're not talking about that , oh okay , ice cream still . Yeah , still ice cream .
Speaker 3Oh , I thought we'd switched .
Speaker 2Nope .
Speaker 3Not yet , Not yet , but anyway . So there's a lot of different things going on . Another ten years it'll be like the aliens , this fucking story .
Speaker 2I saw this headline I saw . Tell me if this sounds funny to you . I am talking about the planet .
Speaker 3now , okay , when I say this You're talking about a planet .
Speaker 2All right , this is a headline .
Speaker 3Headline about a planet .
Speaker 2Uranus takes a pounding more frequently than thought . It's okay what ? Why is that funny ?
Speaker 3Because that's the story . There's a reason that the planet looks like a colonoscopy camera shot .
Speaker 2That's a pretty shot , then , man .
Speaker 3I'm telling you , no pulps in that . I think it's got a little bit . Yeah , well , that's a little streak of something . Somebody ate a Tijuana mama or something .
Speaker 2Did you know that Uranus takes a pound more frequently ?
Speaker 3Yeah , well , it does when you buy freaking Bahama mamas for $6 a box .
Speaker 2I just thought that was a weird headline .
Speaker 3My anus is getting ready to take a pound or two .
Speaker 2A pound or two . Oh , Bahama Bombers .
Speaker 3How about this one ?
Speaker 2How about the boy ? A 10-year-old boy steals his parents' car to visit grandparents and his grandparents are 68 miles away .
Speaker 3He loves them Gets pulled over Corbin would steal his car to come see us .
Speaker 2You know what he tells the police when he gets pulled over . He tells the police he's a dwarf and he forgot his driver's license . Now , smart kid or I don't know .
Speaker 3Creative , you think , so I think he's going to be an author .
Speaker 2That is very creative , Tom he's going to be an author .
Speaker 3He'll be an author or a podcast host . He's got a shot at either one .
Speaker 2He's quick on his ass , I guess because he's sitting in the car .
Speaker 3So he's pretty quick there . Well , all he has to do is find the gas pedal .
Speaker 2I thought of you when I saw this headline . Oh , neat .
Speaker 3Is this the Uranus one again ?
Speaker 2Well , kind of you know of one way or the other . Here this guy bought a penis enlarger . Uh-huh , you know what he got in the mail ? A penis Enlarger ? No , yeah , well he did . He got a magnifying glass . Poor fella man . Buys penis enlarger , gets magnifying glass instead . Makes your penis bigger , doesn't it ? Just don't hold it under the sun , why that would burn . What Putting the magnifying glass between the sun and your penis ? Why would that burn ? Do I have to explain to you ? Never burnt ants , burn ants , yeah .
Speaker 3Ever , ever , never Ever . I yeah , ever , ever , never Ever . I used to blow them up with firecrackers , magnifying glass .
Speaker 2The sun goes through . It's very hot . Oh , I lit a cigarette .
Speaker 3That way once , Any piece of glass actually , but I lit a cigarette that way once With a magnifying glass .
Speaker 2I did , that didn't happen . Did it , it did Very seriously and did it it did how ?
Speaker 3long did you sit there waiting for that ? About three to five minutes , that's what I thought . Well , it still happened .
Speaker 2Alright , it happened , but it sounds pretty stupid .
Speaker 3Well , a government took us over . How long did you think that would happen ? Okay , I had no answers . See there you go , you got me again , Tom . Ah see freaking bullies .
Speaker 2I saw this ad in the paper , did you yes ? It says Congratulations , george Brownridge , for pleasing 15 women , holy shit , for an entire day . We are all exhausted , very satisfied . I hope so and look forward to next year . Thank you , it's going to do it again . Okay , but then we get a correction . First we have a dad , we have a . What we have a correction ? Well , not an erection , a correction .
Speaker 3If he pleased 15 women that day , he probably don't have one now .
Speaker 2You want to hear the correction . I don't know if I can even read it , because it fucking cracks me up . Our intentions were to thank him for a generous holiday shopping trip which he arranged . This annual tradition is much appreciated . Any inappropriate innuendos were unintentional and we are not responsible . Yeah , I'm not responsible for what I thought , Not responsible for the act . I'm not responsible . Anyways , they messed up .
Speaker 3Yeah . I'm not responsible for making you feel like he pleased 15 women in a day .
Speaker 2I'll be honest with you , tom . I would have said you don't have to put that correction in the first one's appropriate . Yeah , yeah , I pleased 15 women in a day . I'll be honest with you , tom . I would have said you don't have to put that correction in the first one's appropriate .
Speaker 3Yeah yeah , I pleased 15 women .
Speaker 2There's nothing wrong with that at all .
Speaker 3No , no , it must have been the one about the parrot .
Speaker 2The parrot .
Speaker 3Yeah , which one's that ? The one where the guy bought a parrot with no legs . Tootel , yeah , he did . He bought a parrot with no legs . Why , well , he wanted to . His wife was messing around on him and he had to find a way to figure it out . So he went to a pet shop , told the pet shop owner he wanted a bird that could talk . It's like why . He's like well , when I come home I'll ask the bird what my wife did all week . He said , okay , well , well , the parrot I got here don't have any legs , he's like well how's he ?
Speaker 3on that roost . Then he's like well , his wiener is so long that he wraps it around the roost there and he sets up like that . That is pretty special , I think I'll take it . So he takes this parrot home first day he comes home . He said parrot , what did my wife do today ? The parrot says oh , your wife cleaned all your clothes , did your laundry for you today . He said , well , that's good .
Speaker 3Second day guy comes home parrot , what did my wife do ? She cleaned your clothes and ironed them . I said , wow , that's pretty good . Next day the guy comes home Parrot what did my wife do today ? She cleaned your clothes , ironed them and fixed you the most beautiful supper . So my wife's doing pretty good . Next day the guy comes home . He said so , parrot , my wife cleaned my clothes today . Nope , she ironed . Nope , she iron . Nope , oh , she fixed me a great supper tonight . Nope , why , what happened ? Parrot said well , things went a little different today . What do you mean ? He said well , the postman came by . What happened then ? He's like well , they got to kissing on each other . He said , yeah , what then ? He's like well , they got to kissing on each other . He said , yeah , well , what then ? He's like well , they got naked right here in the living room . What Well ? What happened then ? He said I don't know . I got a heart on and fell off the perch .
Speaker 2You're a fucking idiot . Oh man , I think it's time to end this .
Speaker 3What do you think ? I think we had a pretty good session this week .
Speaker 2A little stupidity , a lot of stupidity .
Speaker 3I hope everybody had a good week last week .
Speaker 2And we've got Memorial Weekend coming up next weekend .
Speaker 3Speaking of the weekend , you know , the Wilkesboro North Wolf Bowl Racetrack Is that ?
Speaker 2the .
Speaker 3All-Star Yep had the race . Supposed to have had the race this weekend but it got rained out . I believe so will they . And they may have ran it today . They may have ran it today . I haven't heard and I'm ashamed because I live right there at the track .
Speaker 2Right right .
Speaker 3I'm glad it's came back . They needed to bring that track back because I mean Wilkesboro , that's where it all started . I mean North Carolina is where racing NASCAR got its start Running . Moosh . Yeah , moonshine man , it's great . Okay , everybody look up Wilkesboro , north Carolina , moonshine . They all fall right in together there .
Speaker 2Anyways people thanks for joining in . We appreciate you listening .
Speaker 3Have a great afternoon today and mow your yard if it's not raining .
Speaker 2Take care Till next time we're out .
