Resilient Tales, Political Quirks, and Festive Frolics: Celebrating Community and Laughter
Ever wondered how a dog can survive the wilderness for 28 days or how an apple tree might save a house from a mudslide? This season finale of the MT Alternative Podcast promises to warm your heart and tickle your funny bone as we recount incredible tales of resilience from Asheville's mountain communities. Despite the ongoing struggles with water shortages, the spirit of these communities shines through, and we encourage thoughtful donations to support their needs. As we close out the season, we reflect on the power of community and the difference a small act of kindness can make.
Switching gears, we tackle the tumultuous political landscape following Trump's election victory, with a blend of critique and humor that only we can deliver. There’s an undeniable craving for change, and we speculate on the potential shifts in policies with our signature playful banter. Amidst the political commentary, we share light-hearted stories of traffic stops and holiday overeating, proving that laughter truly is the best policy. Familiar voices and characters join us, adding depth and humor to our spirited discussion.
As the holiday season approaches, we launch into a merry exploration of Thanksgiving traditions that defy convention. From the amusing escapades with our pet monkeys, Curious and George, to the wacky world of turkey bowling and the culinary marvel that is turducken, our banter captures the festive spirit. We wrap things up with a nod to the pie-throwing antics at North Technical High School in Missouri, leaving you with a smile as we bid farewell to another unforgettable season. Join us for a heartwarming and laughter-filled conclusion to this year’s journey!
00:12 - Podcast Season Finale Update
14:58 - Trump, Politics, and Little Dudes
21:58 - Monkey Research Facility Banter
31:37 - Thanksgiving Traditions and Shenanigans
Podcast Season Finale Update
Speaker 1Welcome back to the MT Alternative Podcast , where your sanity takes a backseat to Mike and Tom's unique blend of wit and wisdom , or whatever you want to call it , of wit and wisdom , or whatever you want to call it . I'm Daniel , your reluctant host for this momentous occasion , the season finale . That's right , folks . They've done it . They've managed to drag this thing to a conclusion without setting the studio on fire , though I'm sure it was close a few times . Tonight , mike and Tom will look back on the highlights , the lowlights and probably a few tangents nobody asked for . Who knows , maybe they'll even answer the age-old question why does this podcast exist ? So grab your snacks , adjust your expectations way down and get ready for a send-off . Only Mike and Tom could deliver because , trust me , no one else would Take it away .
Speaker 2Gentlemen , Hello , tom , back again .
Speaker 3It's been a while , buddy , it has been a few minutes , but we are back and glad to be .
Speaker 2Yes , we are .
Speaker 3This is going to be our final episode for this season , I guess yeah , so we're going to close this season out with this episode , which a bang kind of means she bangs our final episode , yeah and we will be putting together a holiday . I guess a holiday treat for you guys . I guess you'd call it we're going to give our fellow listeners what we think is our favorite moments with the podcast . Give a little special shout out to different people as we go through them .
Speaker 2It's going to be stuff you've heard already , but a bunch of it put together .
Speaker 3Some stuff from way back when , back in the day , that we've all forgotten .
Speaker 2Or some of us want to forget .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 2But anyways , getting back to reality . Yeah , shit still going on up in the mountains here , tom .
Speaker 3Still real in the mountains .
Speaker 2It is still real . We are sitting here all cozy thinking , oh you know , it wasn't bad . No , it's terrible , these people , people , what intense still . Asheville still no water . It's terrible , these people . What intense still . Asheville still no water it's cold , out there people it's cold .
Speaker 3Today we have it at what ? 56 ? Is that what it said ?
Speaker 2I think now we're probably at least 60 , 62 .
Speaker 360 maybe . Okay Up there it'll be lucky if they hit 40 .
Speaker 2We were in the 30s this morning , so I'm sure it was quite cold .
Speaker 3They're going to be lucky to hit 40 today .
Speaker 2Everybody wants to donate blankets , clothes , which is fine . That's great , but we're finding out now . They need things like tissues .
Speaker 3Yes .
Speaker 2Cold . You know stuff for colds , flu-type things , medicines , very needy Epi-colds flu-type things , medicines Very needed . If you're donating sleeping bags and this is a big one make sure the rating's good on it , because 40 degrees sounds warm up to 40 degrees , but believe me , it's cold in the mountains . 40-degree sleeping bag isn't going to do anything . It's not rated . It's going to be rated for , would you say at least what ?
Speaker 3Some temperatures , I would say at least . And here's the thing , guys , there's no shame in not being able to afford a really , really good sleeping bag for these folks . Okay , here's the issue . Anything helps . If you're going to buy them a cheap , cheap sleeping bag . It would probably do you better to donate that money for something else more positive , because other people will fall in and get the good sleeping bags Right . Go ahead and get the hand warmers . You need to go ahead and get the hand warmers . You can buy more people hand warmers for that amount of money than you could . A cheap sleeping bag for one person to be cold .
Speaker 2And we're talking . The sleeping bags are expensive , so not everybody can afford that .
Speaker 3Right . So just use your money to your ability and put it in the places that will do most good . Like well , I can only buy one subpar sleeping bag , or I can buy a thousand hand warmers .
Speaker 2Right . Well , don't forget too , Tom , there's the emergency sleeping bags with the foil .
Speaker 3Right Right you can use those with a cheap sleeping bag , those will absolutely do the foil Right .
Speaker 2You can use those with a cheap sleeping bag . Those will absolutely do the job . And those are actually pretty cheap .
Speaker 3They're not very much at all .
Speaker 2You can get those . Yes , it doesn't look like much , they're rolled up in a little sack but trust me , it's great for survival . And that's just a couple things . We heard some stories . We found some stories on YouTube .
Speaker 3Yeah , there's still a lot of things going on in Western North Carolina .
Speaker 2What was it ? The Craig family .
Speaker 3Craig family 11 .
Speaker 2And 11 of them got swept away , and the fire chief trying to save one of them . He went . He perished also , and the amazing thing of this whole story was the dog they found in the rubble 28 days . This dog was in a kennel with a refrigerator propped up on the side of it which kept it from being swept away or anything .
Speaker 3Or getting hit by something else the dog .
Speaker 2what did it say ? It drank whatever water was there ate rats mice whatever it could catch . 28 days people in this dog survived . Yes , it sucks about the family , that does suck . But for all that to happen and then to find something alive through that , amazing . The other story with the house that got swept down . From what ?
Speaker 3They said a mile A mudslide a mile and a half . Took a house and it came all the way down the hill and what had saved the house . The only house left was the one at the bottom and it was an apple tree , an apple tree right in the center of this yard and evidently it's spread the mudslide split the house just split it to either side of the house .
Speaker 3The mud never even hit the house , but somebody in the house got thrown on to the ladies porch , the ladies porch or whatever and then walked into her kitchen yeah , he was standing in the kitchen . It's like where'd you come from ?
Speaker 2that's the mudslide about a mile and a half up the hill , but then again we still got people , missing folks . Obviously , we hope for the best , but by this time Asheville .
Speaker 3Okay , asheville is a pretty major city in western North Carolina , right .
Speaker 2But don't forget Swannanoa .
Speaker 3They still have no water .
Speaker 2No , drinkable water ? No , drinkable water at all In .
Speaker 3Asheville .
Speaker 2Another video we watched of the woman that was up in the mountains helping she's from Tennessee . Sorry , I don't remember her name or anything . But that's what a lot of them are doing at this point and some of her stories . You know the water's contaminated . You hear it . I mean people talking about how many animals the cadaver dogs have died from drinking the water , or sniffing whatever's there .
Speaker 3Well , to bring that up , isn't there ? Water is so contaminated now .
Speaker 2Yeah , we're finding out a Black Rock or somebody back in the government days in the 50s , 60s . Yeah , radioactive material or other chemicals were buried in the mountains .
Speaker 3In the mountains . Nobody's thinking anything of it .
Speaker 2They just buried them and now , all of a sudden Surprise , surprise , here it comes and now our animals are dying .
Speaker 3And here's the effect . Hunters , I mean , we're going to shoot deer next year that drank and were affected by this . It's going to go into our system and the folks that really have it right in their mind and want to survive without buying store-bought food and everything because it's so pure and correct . It's not pure anymore .
Speaker 2Nope .
Speaker 3Nope .
Speaker 2So now they've tried to contaminate us in another area . Not just deer , you're hunting all the animals Fish . Fish are contaminated , but just regular animals Raccoons , possums , whatever's drinking bear , they just keep on and on and on . And don't forget some people have died already from it . Yeah , it sucks , it still sucks out there and I'm sure Florida , from their storms , is still having it . We don't want to leave anybody out from the storms . Anybody who was in the path or whatever , the storm , the rain , the winds , it sucked it was a bad time .
Speaker 3But a shout out to all the people who stood together didn't give a crap who anybody voted for . I do want to bring up .
Speaker 2Let's not forget what's going on with FEMA Right , Whether it was the whole system of FEMA or not , still get out there People . What we're talking about is , if you see a Trump supporter sign , don't even bother helping those people . Pretty much is what it was . We're not helping Trump supporters . Supposedly it's because Trump supporters are hostile . Trump supporters don't want to do this . That's bullshit . You have a couple nut jobs somewhere , of course you do . That doesn't mean everybody Right . We say this all the time .
Speaker 3Here's my opinion real quick . When I wake up in the morning and I strap on my your dildo . No , not that strap .
Speaker 2Oh sorry , We'll edit that Okay dildo no , not that strap .
Speaker 3Oh , sorry , we'll edit that Okay when I put on my outfit or my uniform for whoever I work for , I have just became a representative of that company .
Speaker 2True .
Speaker 3Okay . So , therefore , anything I say and anything that I do is a direct hit to the company that I'm representing . Therefore , if FEMA decides to say , well , we don't support blah blah , blah , blah , say , well , we don't support blah , blah , blah , blah , well , I'm sorry that you don't support that , but your person does and that's the sad part . So you do hold some type of problem here because you didn't do a back search on Mr Nazi over here . That's not going to help people because they don't think the way he does .
Speaker 2Right . Well , here's a perfect example , another video we watched . They set up people , had a camp set up with all kinds of supplies Yep , fema moved in behind , escorted out the area for a while , built their own little compound behind , told them they had to leave , kept their stuff Yep , what the hell is that ? We're giving out these supplies ? No , we're going to take over now , not to mention . We don't need you to take over , yeah .
Speaker 3It's FEMA is yeah , anyways , yeah .
Speaker 2But this is going to lead us into our next story . We want to cover the election .
Speaker 3What do you think ? I think a lot of people from FEMA better start getting their shit in order .
Speaker 2I think a lot of government agencies should get their shit together .
Speaker 3They got to get shit in order because and hopefully Hopefully . There's a new sheriff in town .
Speaker 2Let's put on the brakes for a second , though . Let's hope this isn't all bullshit talk , though let's see some action .
Speaker 3Right , after all , he is not a politician . We're not sure you know what , eddie ?
Speaker 2I need some kind of improvement with government , right . And you people who want more government , I don't understand . And you people about abortions , you do realize that states will still give you abortions , right . Very , very few , very few . That won't . You don't need it everywhere , somebody's going to do it . You think people in Pennsylvania cared about some lady in some state that couldn't get it . She was more worried about the economy than well . My state has abortion , so why would I want to vote just for abortion ? I'm going to vote for an economy .
Speaker 2I want a better economy , montana . So not everybody was thinking abortion . Because why ? Because you can still get an abortion . Trump isn't going to ban it . He already said he's not for that .
Speaker 3Here's the thing Montana , there's like 75 people in the state , the whole state of Montana , 75 of them . Why are they going to worry about abortion when there's 16 of them not even going to have sex because they're ugly ? And then there's not that many . The other guys are guys and they don't get pregnant anyway . So Montana don't give two rat shits about that . But they have oil and they want to drill .
Speaker 2Drill baby drill .
Speaker 3And they want this and they want that and they want their economy back and they want to be able to hire people to watch 7 million head of cattle that they have on their 75 billion acres .
Speaker 2Wait a minute , wait a minute . Whoa , whoa , whoa . Where are you going with this ? Why are we talking about ranches ?
Speaker 3I'm just saying .
Speaker 2We're not against ranching . No , no , no , I'm not saying that it kind of sounds like the road you're going down there , buddy Nope nope , not at all . Well then I lost where you're going .
Speaker 3You lost .
Speaker 2Okay , my point is it sounds like you went on a rant somewhere and lost me .
Speaker 3Well , I did a little bit , but my point is , the whole thing is of course every state's not going to vote and give a shit about abortion .
Speaker 2Well , we already know anyway . If I look at the map , that's redundant , because if you look at the map , we already know it's not state , it's little dinky cities that care more about that stupid shit .
Speaker 3That's not what drives their country . Their state is about ranching and fracking .
Speaker 2Right , right . My point is everybody thinks abortion was the big issue , which to some , yes , it was . But , like I'm saying , if a state , name me one state where you can't get an abortion Kansas , okay , name me another , maybe there's what three , four , maybe A four , maybe A handful , maybe . All right , you think that's going to last ?
Speaker 3No , when we were 16 , we'd drive to the next state to buy beer . I mean , I know you'll drive over there to kill a baby .
Speaker 2Yeah , exactly .
Trump, Politics, and Little Dudes
Speaker 2Anyways , back to the election . I'm glad Trump won . I hope things get back to normalcy . People don't think it will . But my God , people , if you think these last four years were great , there's something wrong with you .
Speaker 3I think four years without government , I think will help us out .
Speaker 2I could take a mean guy for four more years making sense with policies than some dumbasses who don't know anything . And don't know anything about politics have no policies .
Speaker 3No , none . Well , they may have , had we heard about any of them .
Speaker 2Yeah , but we never did . All I heard , was Trump .
Speaker 3Trump did this . Trump , Trump , Trump , Trump , Trump . It was almost like she campaigned for word salad at the word , so it's almost like she was campaigning for Donald Trump .
Speaker 2Yep . And it worked and I'm kind of loving the little team he's putting together too . Yeah , I mean , there might be some questionable ones here and there , but the borders are is the one I really like and don't get me wrong .
Speaker 3They're not going after every person , People you've got to back off this crap .
Speaker 2They want to take every illegal immigrant . You've got someone who , if they were young or whatever , or they're actually making something out of themselves here . No , that's not who they're going after .
Speaker 3Nope , they're going after the people , but you know what ?
Speaker 2People aren't doing anything and just living off mulching . You know mooching . I should say Mooching . We're not cutting grass Right , but that's the ones you want to get rid of . Yeah , the ones bringing over and there's already some going back . You've got New York City now finally doing a rest on these . Things are changing already . He's not even in as a president yet he's starting to change .
Speaker 3It reminds me of the time where I was coming down a hill .
Speaker 3My wife had just got a new car and I was driving , not used to it going a little fast and coming the other direction , I could see an officer and in my mirror , as he passed , I seen him hit the brakes . Well , I looked over and I was doing well over the speed limit . So instead of running and hoping I could get away from him , I just stood aside and waited on him to come around . He comes to the window chuckling , you know . Never seen anybody just stop like that . Well , I knew I was caught . I knew . So these people , they know , they know what's coming Right , so they just stop what they're doing . They're going to just stop .
Speaker 2Right .
Speaker 3Trump is here .
Speaker 2It's over Well like I said , let's hope things haven't happened yet , but things are starting to look a little better , so we can only only hope .
Speaker 3Yeah , we can only hope he keeps true to his non-political .
Speaker 2Well , that being said too , Tom if . Thank God it didn't happen . But if she would have won , you know what I would have got up the next day . My life goes on you wouldn't see me out there whining crying .
Speaker 3No , have you seen some of these videos ?
Speaker 2of these people ? No , no , no . The thing is people , he's going to do this . You do realize he was president four years , right ? People forget that . Did he do any of this ? Oh , no , but it's different . He said that . No , you guys took little clips of how he said it , just like the firing squad issue . That's not what he said , anyways , not at all . We got that out of the way . It's been a while since we've heard from the little dudes .
Speaker 3Yeah , they've been .
Speaker 2How do you think they're doing ?
Speaker 3I don't know . It was the weather and everything after the hurricane . It seemed like .
Speaker 2I guess there's some things that could rattle them .
Speaker 3Spirits .
Speaker 2I'd like to get him in though , well .
Speaker 3I'm thinking he's getting ready for Thanksgiving . He likes to eat .
Speaker 2Does he like to eat ? Yeah ? Yeah he looks a little porky , a little bit , you know I don't get it .
Speaker 3Yeah , he likes his yeah .
Speaker 2He looks like the type that would eat a lot of like bacon . He looks like the type that would eat a lot of like Bacon .
Speaker 3Oh , he had bacon this morning .
Speaker 2A lot of carbs .
Speaker 3He had bacon sandwiches this morning .
Speaker 2Did he actually have a sandwich or did he just eat like a pound of bacon ?
Speaker 3Nope , he had two bacon sandwiches .
Speaker 2So you watched the meat ? Yeah , I watched the meat , not watch his meat . You watched him eat .
Speaker 3Yeah , I watched him , not watch his meat , you watched him eat . Yes , yeah , I watched him eat awesome yeah , that's no , I didn't wash the meat you gave him dirty meat yeah , a little .
Speaker 2Anyway , he's probably shit right off the ground he does all right , all right , folks , let's get the little dudes in here . I'll see what's up with yeah .
Speaker 3I haven't heard from them in a minute .
Speaker 2Talk to you in a bit Good time , for some maybe porch time .
Speaker 4Oh , hello , hello , hello , my little buddy . Yeah , little buddy , Hello , what's up ? What's wrong with you ? Okay , we'll get all the pleasantries out of the way . Hey , what's up ? Hey , I haven't seen you in a while . How about a hug ? What you know ? Hug , you know , like old friends . No , no , no , we're not gonna hug . Wow , wow , not that ball humbug . No , hug , okay , fine , Whatever there , mr Frickin' Humbug . Anyways , what have you been up to ? Not too much . I'm trying to avoid Christmas and Thanksgiving and all them .
Speaker 4You love to eat family holidays . Well , you do like the food . Yeah , yeah , I like food . All right then . Well , you do like the food . Yeah , yeah , I like food . All right then . Well , what the hell ? Yeah , put up with it . Have you ever ate food with my family ? No , can't say I have . That's because there is none , there's no family , there's no food . Well , why ? Well , everybody expects everybody else to bring it . You know that sounds terrible . Well , that's what you get . We can go to my family food adventures . Wow , that's . He's just gonna be me , me and the little missus . How come you think I'm so damn skinny ? What ? Yeah , but hey , you know , I do stuff , you do stuff .
Speaker 1I just don't eat all day .
Speaker 4I said you know I do stuff , you do stuff . I just don't eat all day . I said , why do you think I'm so damn skinny ? You're not skinny at all , I am . I don't eat . You're a porky little fella . Oh , porky Blah , blah , blah , blah , blah . What's up , bud ? I don't mean porky pig , yeah well , porky .
Speaker 4Hey , speaking of little animals , how about those little monkeys that escaped ? What do you think of that there ? Well , let me just tell you about the monkeys . Okay , I knew you'd have something to say about this . Yeah , well , go ahead First
Monkey Research Facility Banter
Speaker 4off . Okay , who in the hell needs 6,000 monkeys ? Uh , a research facility , what are you researching ? Bananas , holy shit . You need 6,000 of them to tell you you like a banana . Maybe they're banana inspectors ? Yeah , one little banana time . There you go , you got it . They like come and make me want to go home . And they took off and went home . Yeah , or tried to . So why do you need 6,000 of them for that ? Well , I don't know , but evidently like PBJs . Yeah , 43 , not 46 . How come they made sex a big deal about , not 46 ?
Speaker 1And why'd they say they were no ?
Speaker 4larger than a cat . What kind of monkeys were they ? Um , they're the little monkeys , ah , the little kind Like our size . No , no , no , a lot smaller than us ? No , well , we're kind of small , but not . But I thought we could ride on cats and stuff . No , not a cat . Why ? Because cats will eat us , cats will eat us . How about dogs ? Dogs might we might . Depends on the dog . Okay , how about dogs ? Dogs might we might . Depends on the dog . Okay . Well , that's pretty cool . Your dog or my dog wouldn't work . Why don't we go look for ?
Speaker 4the rest of the monkeys . Well , here's the reason we can start a revolution with them . Got to be a revolution . See , now you're getting it . Yeah , but that's not what we meant . Why ? Well , if you go after these monkeys , right , they're very dangerous . I hear , like , why ? Why are they dangerous ? They're the size of a cat ?
Speaker 4Yeah , well , here's what the news said . Okay , none of them have been treated with anything . Okay , so that's good , right , yeah , but lock your doors and windows and don't get in there . Can't pet them . No , why ? Because they're very dangerous . What ? Okay , you just told me that they weren't dangerous , but now they are dangerous , yeah , so don't touch them or go near them . I'm confused . You really think so ? Yeah , I know so . Okay , well , we're all damn confused . So what should they do ? Well , they should just go off the air . Our new president should say You're fired .
Speaker 4Should we kill the monkeys ? Well , no , it's not their fault that some dumbass stored them in a facility that has , oh , not once , not twice , no , no , no , seven different times . These damn things escaped this facility . Why do you think that ? You think it's an inside job ? No , but it's kind of like the China facility that accidentally let the COVID fucking thing get loose . No , that didn't come from there . They told us that's not true . Oh yeah , it came from a guy eating . They told us that's not true . Oh yeah , it came from a guy eating a damn raw squirrel . Yeah , no , yeah , no , they said that story because they knew they were going to kill a poor little squirrel for no damn reason ? They lied to us , of course they did . Why would they lie to us ? What was the name of the squirrel they killed ? Peanut Peanut . Yeah , bless his little heart . What about the little raccoon friend ? Yeah , yeah , and the raccoon ? Well , we're going to break in and take all that . We have to cut its head off , see if it's got rabies . Oh , it didn't have rabies , of course it didn't . It lived in my house clean , you dumb shit . Let's take your kid's cat and cut its head off and see if it had rabies . Nope , it only scans for dipshit .
Speaker 4I kind of took you down a dark path again , didn't I ? Well , yes . And then , well , I heard you say yesterday oh , I'm going to get you started tomorrow . Well , guess what you did . And it's all because of a damn cat . This is why I'm the happy one .
Speaker 4Well , yeah , woo-hoo , yeah . Well , you know what ? What ? I hear that all the time . What , woo-hoo , yeah at work . What is ? It Sounds like a bunch of freaking rednecks are raping their cousin . Woo-hoo , woo-hoo . Hand me the moonshine , billy , and give me the third cousin . She's not our third cousin , she's our fourth . No , you just work faster than I do , it's only my second cousin . What the hell kind of redneck shit you been listening to . See , that's what I'm saying , that's what it sounds like .
Speaker 4What the hell's going on out there in the woods by you ? Yeah , banjo playing . Oh , na na na , na , na , na , na na na . Yeah , I'm worried . Grab the paddle and tighten up . Boys , here it comes , I guess . So , yeah , well , well , hey , nitty's on the river , look out . You know what ? I'm very happy , I did my job today . You went to work . Yeah , I got you riled up . It didn't take much . No , because I stay riled up . Yeah , but I'd like to add to your frustrations in life . You didn't really add to nothing . No , you're just that miserable anyways , yeah , yeah , okay , there you go , all right , but not to take everything away from you . Oh , I get something . Yeah , consolation prize . Yeah , oh , what's that ? You did upset me a little bit . How so ? Well , you said something about , uh , well , I can't really remember , but it pissed me off . Oh see , something about us being little . Oh , oh , speaking of , have you talked to your little friend Chicken Little lately ? Well , there you go again .
Speaker 1That poor little bastard .
Speaker 4Yeah , little poor kid in class . Oh well , guy's asked for a can of milk . Maybe you shouldn't have had a stupid name . What ? You heard me , I said it . I said what I said . Okay , maybe you ought to go back and listen , because that was the whole point of that story . Hey , he was dumbass . He was the only one that didn't have a matching name . Why they treated him like shit . Why , because his name was Chicken . Little Stupid name . Yeah , it should have been Chicken Licking . Why didn't you change it ? Nope , well , because . Why , kentucky would have got pissed off because Chicken Licken was in their name .
Speaker 4And they had all that shit going on for them . But then , okay , wait a minute , not to mention , what about Clickin' Chicken ? Click , he couldn't Click . What kind of chicken have you ever heard ? Click , click , click Every hour ? He couldn't clock , he clicked . Yeah , he had a deformity . Okay , okay , yeah , I just told you what's more believable A chicken that goes cluck , cluck , cluck , or a fucking chicken that goes cluck , cluck , cluck , or a fucking chicken that goes cluck , cluck , cluck ?
Speaker 4Yeah , see how stupid that fucking sounds . You just don't think things through when you say them , do you ? Sounded normal , sounded normal , maya , sounded like a chicken with a speech deficiency . Hey , mr Mechanic , when my car was going , click , click , click , it sounded normal , didn't it ? Yeah , normally it sounds dead . That's why it sounded normal . Listen , we can't compare a vehicle to a chicken . Yes , you can , you can't do that . You can when it's dead . No , that's kind of stupid . Well , uh , anyways , let's , let's uh end this on a good note . Ah yeah , there you go . Anyways , folks , we'll see you next week and just stay tuned , because guess what ? Ah , yeah , when we give us , we're going to be the stars for the day .
Speaker 4Yeah , we're going to be the whole subject of the next podcast . It's going to be a holiday special . Yes , a holiday special with the little dudes , and we are going to reveal our names , we're going to tell our names .
Speaker 4Yeah , why ? Because we'll become comfortable with our audience . Oh , remember when we discovered them all naked ? Yeah , well , that's when we became comfortable . Oh , okay , alright , cool , it wasn't really you all . I'm a little embarrassed about mine , but okay , just to say it wasn't really you all . I just told him that we were watching fans .
Thanksgiving Traditions and Shenanigans
Speaker 4Only One thing I do like to say Okay , please , on the holiday special , be on your best behavior . This is a holiday special . I always behave best .
Speaker 4Little children might be listening . Please don't let your children listen . This would be a bad thing . Not with him Listen . If you let your kids listen to us , you deserve to be in the cold list . Yes , okay , on that note , we really gotta go . Okay , the meat's running . Yeah , anyway , later foggers , bye , bye .
Speaker 3Well , sounds like they were over parked . Maybe , huh , their meter was running .
Speaker 2Let me get the hell out of here mighty quick .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 2I almost tripped over them .
Speaker 3Well , they are little .
Speaker 2Yeah , well , you know , they are what they are .
Speaker 3A couple of little pipsqueaks .
Speaker 2A little pissed off about these monkeys .
Speaker 3He seems a little irritated , I guess he's got it right .
Speaker 2Well , he used to have monkeys .
Speaker 3He used to have two little pet monkeys .
Speaker 2I did not know this , yeah , ah .
Speaker 3He was pretty close to them .
Speaker 2Okay , well , that explains , shit .
Speaker 3I guess One was named Curious the other one was named George .
Speaker 2Oh , that sounds pretty stupid , it was . He dressed him up in this yellow outfit all the time . I was going to say , did he wear a yellow hat ?
Speaker 3No , but it was ironic . Why would you see two monkeys running around in a yellow outfit looking like bananas ? Other monkeys wanted to attack him all the time .
Speaker 2Not too bright , them little dudes .
Speaker 3No , they took him to the zoo one time , but that's another story .
Speaker 2We're actually going to get to hear their names . Yeah , they took them to the zoo one time , but that's another story . We're actually going to get to hear their names .
Speaker 3Yeah , they said something about that .
Speaker 2I didn't even know their names . I know Little dudes is pretty much what I always heard .
Speaker 1You know that little dude .
Speaker 3Yeah , yeah , yeah , the little dude , the one that hit the squirrel in the little car , yeah , I remember . Yeah , that's all we ever known about .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 3Little dude .
Speaker 2Okay , little dudes .
Speaker 3Who knew they had names ?
Speaker 2Hey , we got coming up .
Speaker 3Oh , thanksgiving . Oh wait , wait , what ? You're not getting ready to give me a bowl of damn turkey dressing , ice cream or anything stupid like that , are you ?
Speaker 2No , not this time , Tom .
Speaker 3Oh good .
Speaker 2Please , that looks kind of gross time . Oh good , Please , that was kind of gross Now just uh , any plans ?
Speaker 3for Thanksgiving . Well , I'm going to eat turkey Sitting at home , I am yeah . Yeah .
Speaker 2Family thing A little bit yeah . Unfortunately again just me and the wife . But then she has to work . You know hospital stuff . Right , I don't know how that is , but anyways as we were sitting on the porch we looked up some traditions for Thanksgiving . We thought was it a little interesting ? You ?
Speaker 3should make a new tradition .
Speaker 2Let's read . We have quite a few interesting ones . Some are not funny , but some sound fun . Okay , we could start off with turkey bowling . Turkey bowling , turkey bowling Okay , some sound fun . Okay , it's not up with turkey bowling .
Speaker 3Turkey bowling .
Speaker 2Turkey bowling .
Speaker 3Okay , wait a minute , sure . Okay , I've heard of cockfighting and I've heard of you know all this other stuff , but I've never heard of it . Well , they're not live .
Speaker 2How do they train Frozen , frozen turkeys ?
Speaker 3Okay , what ? The shivering makes them play better , or what ?
Speaker 2They're frozen . They're dead turkeys that are frozen .
Speaker 3Oh , they're dead turkeys . They can't even get in your supermarket . Okay , well , first question Sure , how does a dead , frozen turkey throw a bowling ball ?
Speaker 2We throw the dead turkey frozen as a bowling ball . Well , that's awful , no , so listen , it started , in a matter of fact , germany . Listen , forget bowling balls and bowl with a frozen turkey this Thanksgiving , using soda or water bottles as makeshift pins . This hilarious tradition started in 1988 at Lucky's Grocery Shop in Newport Beach , where the bowling took place in the alleys of the store .
Speaker 3Yeah , because you in the alleys , because you couldn't get away with that out front .
Speaker 2Listen Again , tom . Frozen turkeys you get at the supermarket . They're not alive , they're already . It's stuff you read on Thanksgiving , same turkey .
Speaker 3Oh , I'd love that we're going to move on from that .
Speaker 2Excuse me , steve , can I ?
Speaker 3buy one of your bruised turkeys that someone threw down the aisle of your store .
Speaker 2That part sounds kind of messed up . You're absolutely right . All right , we have turducken . Okay , I can get into this now , when turkey isn't enough , try a turducken . A deboned chicken is stuffed into a deboned duck , which is then stuffed into a deboned turkey . Okay , that sounds delicious .
Speaker 3It does .
Speaker 2How long does something like that have to cook for A little bit ?
Speaker 3Yeah , well , you've got to figure .
Speaker 2Why not put it in the dirt somewhere ?
Speaker 3Two hours for the turkey , two hours for the chicken , so however long you add , them all together done .
Speaker 2Sounds very good though .
Speaker 3That sounds very good , let me try it Was that anything like the thing you sent me the other day that said we're going to shove a lamb inside of a pig inside of a cow , that sounds even better . Oh yeah , that's how you get cows . Let's see , we have sub-turkey for crab , nobody's doing that that's how you make friends and influence people , by shoving other animals up inside of other animals and cooking them All .
Speaker 2Right , we have North Tech pie throwing . That sounds fun .
Speaker 3Wait , is that anything like what y'all done ? Axe throwing , you throw a pie at the wall or anything Different ? Different , it's different .
Speaker 2At the North Technical High School in St Missouri , Thanksgiving marks an annual pie throwing event where students get to launch pies at the faculty and administration .
Speaker 3Oh , give me a pie .
Speaker 2I can get behind that .
Speaker 3Yeah , sorry , miss English Teacher , you're done for . Here comes Apple .
Speaker 2All right , we have the turkey trot . These popular events generally held before Thanksgiving involve getting dressed up as a turkey I had those Doing a three to five body a great way to shed some excess calories pre-festing . Think of it like a Thanksgiving-themed mini-marathon .
Speaker 3I had the turkey trots one time .
Speaker 2And .
Speaker 3Yeah , they're bad .
Speaker 2Did you run the marathon ? Well , yeah , out to the bathroom and back every Because you dress like a turkey .
Speaker 3Well , no , you don't have to .
Speaker 2But then you didn't even really do anything like the turkey trot .
Speaker 3You know what the turkey trots are . It's when you eat bad stuff and it causes you to have to run back and forth to the bathroom .
Speaker 2I thought that was just the shits .
Speaker 3That's turkey trots .
Speaker 2All right , turkey eating competitions .
Speaker 3I'd win .
Speaker 2We'll get those all over the place . I'd win Turkey toss . Okay , this might be something you might be able to bitch about . Let me get through it . In Indianapolis , indiana , some high school athletes started a tradition of dressing turkeys .
Speaker 3Well , of course they did .
Speaker 2Not live ones , don't worry and baby onesies , lighting them on fire and throwing them across a football field to see whose turkey could fly further . Shocker , they're still doing it . Yeah , they're still doing it , yeah .
Speaker 3They're lighting them on fire .
Speaker 2Lighting on fire and throwing them across the First off .
Speaker 3Why would you have to ?
Speaker 2They're not alive . Again I wire Say that again they're not alive .
Speaker 3Okay , so how are you going to get a dead turkey ? To stay on fire .
Speaker 2It must squirt some fluid on it , lighter fluid , that shit will burn .
Speaker 3Yeah , but then that turkey's not going to be worth eating anyway when it's done , no one's going to eat it .
Speaker 2If you're throwing it on the ground , who's going to eat it ? Animals , so you can feed the animals . Okay , here's one I'm sure you'll appreciate , because I'm sure you do this every year black friday . I don't even have to read what that is , everybody knows . Yeah , how do we feel about black friday ? Let's go out and kill each other for a stupid flat screen tv . That's a piece of shit .
Speaker 3Oh , yeah , where they beat the door down to try to get the better deal , and yeah end up buying something that somebody broke because they knocked somebody else over .
Speaker 2Exactly , I want that . That's the last one fighting over stupid shit , and the thing that's funny is don't they have these like sales in July and all these Black Friday or a month in advance ?
Speaker 3Or hear me out . Sure , every year Comes around once every year . It's not like you have to be there that day .
Speaker 2Right ? Yep , most of the times those deals aren't that great , but anyways , I digress , we'll move on . Yep , I guess this is an activity You're going to love this Walking to make room for more food .
Speaker 3I just unbuckle my belt Don't you just nap , or that . Dessert .
Speaker 2Let's see . I guess that's it . That's pretty much it for Thanksgiving . I mean , besides , people do some other weird shit Food fights I've heard they have Food fights . Why would you waste your food ?
Speaker 3There's people out there starving to death .
Speaker 2I mean , I even bring my own Tupperware for leftovers . Hey , I'll take that .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 2But hey .
Speaker 3Nobody really took off after that pie , did they , man ? Maybe I ought to take that home for you .
Speaker 2Let me help you out with that . Oh , you made an extra one . I can still help you out with that . Oh , you made an extra one .
Speaker 3I can still help you out with the other ones too . I really enjoyed those eggs .
Speaker 2But all kidding aside , I hope everybody does have a great Thanksgiving . Exactly , and don't let the politic crap ruin your family get-togethers . People Don't listen to what they say in the media about that shit . You know what . Leave your politics outside . Enjoy being around family .
Speaker 3Eat some turkey .
Speaker 2They voted for who they voted for , for their own reasons . Nobody has to bring it up , nobody has to hate for it .
Speaker 3Nope , nope . We got the whole rest of the year to do all that .
Speaker 2And if you're going to a party , to gloat or just to be pissy , then maybe just stay home . Or just to be pissy , then maybe just stay home , yeah get some popcorn pop in blazing saddles and enjoy yourself Exactly . And I think that's about it . But should we bring up everything again , all our formats that we're on ?
Speaker 1I mean pretty much everybody knows .
Speaker 2But I think the main thing everybody should know is our webpage , the mtaltpodcom .
Speaker 3That's our web page . Reviews there , ideas .
Speaker 2Check it out , all our podcast sites . There we go . Right , yeah , those are on the web page , so you can check that out .
Speaker 3All of our platforms .
Speaker 2We're going to be working on our holiday little munchkin , our little dude episodes . Yeah , we're going to see Putting that together for the holidays . Little dude stuff coming on , and next season we're going to be starting a little different . We were talking about starting a new podcast for different reasons , but I think we're just going to stick to this one . But we are going to bring up different topics . Some will be serious . There will always be humor in our podcast .
Speaker 3We're going to revamp the one we have going on .
Speaker 2Yeah , just revamping . We have a few and this is for ourselves . We find ourselves going in different directions with it exactly so uh personal agendas exactly . There's a lot of things we like to discuss , so , as much as we have fun doing the funny stuff and the little dudes will always be there- yeah , they'll never leave them out .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 2But anyways , they kind of brought us where we're at Exactly . But , tom , anything else .
Speaker 3Not really right now . I'm enjoying the day and the weather's finally cooling off and we're feeling a little fallish .
Speaker 2Yeah , go back and do some porch time and find out what we're going to do next .
Speaker 3It's close to throwing a fire together .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 3My grandson's been on to me about doing s'mores out back . But yeah , we'll probably do something like that .
Speaker 2Anyways , that'll do it All right .
Speaker 3Well , everybody , thank you for listening again . And always thank God for the gift of Gab .
Speaker 2And take care everyone . God bless , have a good week Later .
Speaker 1Well , folks , that's a wrap on this season of the MT Alternative Podcast . Mike and Tom are finally taking a break , presumably to argue over who's the real brains of this operation . Spoiler alert it's neither of them . But don't worry , we're not leaving you completely stranded . Coming up for the holidays , we've got Best of the Little Dudes episodes , because apparently best of is just code , for we ran out of ideas . Oh , and they even convinced the little dudes themselves to sit down for some special interviews . That's right , the cartoon characters are getting airtime now . I guess when you hit rock bottom , you start digging for laughs in the animated section . So stay tuned for some holiday hilarity , or whatever you call it , when two grown men try to talk to fictional little guys . Happy holidays everyone . Or , as Mike and Tom would say , you're welcome . See you next season , unless they replace me with a hologram or something . Good night .
