Grocery Grumbles, Airplane Antics, and Scout Camp Shenanigans
Strap in as we then segue into the world of air travel, where frustrations and absurdities abound. From the horrors of rude passengers to jaw-dropping tales of airplane doors falling off mid-flight, our stories will have you in stitches. We even touch on the possibility of encountering a drunk pilot and planes running out of fuel, leading to exasperated rants that anyone who's ever flown can relate to. If you've ever faced the chaos of modern flying, you won't want to miss this one.
We wrap things up with a nostalgic trip down memory lane, reminiscing about Scout Camp shenanigans and the wacky foods we've dared to try. From sneaking alcohol into camp to munching on coconut tree grubs and Icelandic fermented shark, our stories are as entertaining as they are enlightening. As we approach Independence Day, we emphasize the importance of staying informed and preparing the next generation for the world's complexities. Join us for a rollercoaster of laughs, nostalgia, and a sprinkle of worldly wisdom in this jam-packed episode.
00:13 - Grocery Shopping and Food Preferences
12:28 - Airplane Frustrations and Passenger Annoyances
27:20 - Scout Camp Adventures and Shenanigans
37:27 - Scout Camp Oddities and Food Stories
42:00 - Exotic Foods and Culinary Adventures
54:44 - Independence Day and World Awareness
Grocery Shopping and Food Preferences
Speaker 1Welcome to another episode of the MT Alternative Podcast . The podcast with a hodgepodge of stories and topics that will make you ask what the hell were they thinking ?
Speaker 2Now here are your hosts , mike and Tom . Wow , what do you know ?
Speaker 3Yeah , it has been 24 hours .
Speaker 2Again , we're really not a couple .
Speaker 3Not yet .
Speaker 2No .
Speaker 3No .
Speaker 2Ever no . Your wife said no , oh , remember , I do remember how easy we forget . Yes , yeah , anyway , I almost said any . Who you ? Almost did , but I just did anyway , so it doesn't matter Out of respect for me .
Speaker 3You didn't . I know how much you love that . Out of respect for me , you didn't .
Speaker 2Yeah , well , I did .
Speaker 3Well , it reminds me of Cindy Lou who .
Speaker 2Cindy .
Speaker 3Who , who , yeah , we don't even need to go there .
Speaker 2No , we don't . I don't know where you were going , but that's fine , we won't go there .
Speaker 3Most of the places I go you don't want to be in anyway .
Speaker 2You're probably right . I had to think about it for a second , but yeah , you're probably right , there you go . So any plans for tomorrow ?
Speaker 3Let's see Father's Day . Yeah , yeah , I'm going to be a father that day .
Speaker 2Just tomorrow . Oh yeah , that's your Father's Day . It's funny how some people get a month for stuff .
Speaker 3Yeah , we get a whole month for other things . Yeah , to do our thing , but you guys don't get anything . Memorial .
Speaker 2Day , one day for those . Yeah , we won't get into that Exactly . Let's not put a damper on this .
Speaker 3That's not why we're here .
Speaker 2No , that's not why we're here at all .
Speaker 4You know why we're here .
Speaker 2Why are we here ?
Speaker 3We're here because we have stuff to get off our chest .
Speaker 2We do yes . Is it us or those two little guys ?
Speaker 3Oh , they have stuff to get off our chest today , I'm sure .
Speaker 2Okay , but you have stuff , also , a couple things . Would you like to get it off your chest now , anything in particular ?
Speaker 3No , I'm the guy that likes to carry my shit around with me .
Speaker 2Okay , excellent .
Speaker 3Okay , I truthfully don't have a whole lot of shit on my chest this morning .
Speaker 1I'm feeling pretty good today .
Speaker 2That's good though .
Speaker 3Well , I got up and I went shopping .
Speaker 2Every time you open your eyes in the morning is a God-sent time .
Speaker 3That's it . That is exactly right , yep , and I got up this morning and I went and I did some errands for my wife and went to a store and took off and done some running .
Speaker 2Wait a minute , wait a minute , wait a minute , you don't run .
Speaker 3No , I drove .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 3I did some driving , excuse me .
Speaker 2That's better .
Speaker 3I ran around in my car . Okay , we'll go with that , that's fine , but anyway , every single time that I do errands for my wife , I mess something up .
Speaker 2Every time Close , okay , close , all right .
Speaker 3So I get sent to buy Jimmy Dean a box of Jimmy Dean raw sausage patties .
Speaker 2All right .
Speaker 3So I'm careful not to buy the links because we don't do the links why ? I don't know , they're a different shape , yeah well you can take a dough roller and roll them out flat if you'd like .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 3Same thing . What's the problem ? Well , I have to buy the patties .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 3That's fine , are you making ?
Speaker 2like a sausage and egg little sandwich .
Speaker 3They got a good deal for a whole big old box 25 bucks for like 10 pounds of sausage .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 3But anyway , I was supposed to buy the raw sausage patties . I bought cooked sausage patties , but they're Jimmy Dean's . You don't even have to cook them . Now why are you bitching ? Evidently it's wrong .
Speaker 2You just heat them up .
Speaker 3Nope , they don't taste the same .
Speaker 2Hell they don't . I bought the sausage and whatever the ones I get , but anyway .
Speaker 3So oops . Then on the way home she said check to see how much , check to see how much your uh cantaloupes are at this little store on the side of the road . Okay , sells all kind of produce and I could use a cantaloupe , but they're expensive in the store right now they're like four or five dollars for a cantaloupe .
Speaker 2What about on the side of the road , guy ?
Speaker 3$4 . Oh , so I didn't save anything .
Speaker 2Not much of a difference .
Speaker 3I went ahead and bought it anyway . Why ? Because he's a guy on the side of the road .
Speaker 2Yeah , why not Rather give him the money ?
Speaker 3Small business ? Yeah , exactly , no doubt , no doubt . The other thing I go to Walmart . I can buy a big watermelon . Well , not a big one , medium , average-sized watermelon , seedless , I don't know . No , watermelon is seedless . They say seedless , yeah , but then we get the little white ones in the seed .
Speaker 2Those are not that bad , wait a minute .
Speaker 3You know what else you ?
Speaker 2won't have a watermelon growing in your stomach .
Speaker 3What do you call the little bitty white things in watermelon ?
Speaker 2Little baby seeds .
Speaker 3So how in the hell are you going to call them seedless ? They're baby seeds . Okay , you better hope that the little fellas don't get a hold of this one , because if they do , it'll be hell to pay those little guys bitch about everything and anything .
Speaker 2They bitch about anything and everything . That doesn't matter .
Speaker 3Right , but don't tell me it's seedless if it's not . That's all I'm saying .
Speaker 2All right , I'm not going to argue with you on that , but anyway , back to the- . Back to your grocery shopping . Yeah , so I went ahead and got a cantaloupe for $4 , which I think is ridiculous .
Speaker 3To pay $4 for a cantaloupe , yeah , kind of , but I did . You know why ? Why she told me to Okay .
Speaker 2See , I'm a good husband . Why just a cantaloupe ?
Speaker 3though . Oh , I didn't buy just a cantaloupe , I bought liver mush garden tomatoes .
Speaker 2See , I'm a good husband . Why just a cantaloupe ?
Speaker 3though . Oh , I didn't buy just a cantaloupe , I bought liver mush garden tomatoes . No honeydew . They didn't have a honeydew . That's sad . They had watermelon , watermelon's okay , yeah , they're $2 higher than I can buy them at the butt . What about side of the road guy Side of the road guy is higher than Walmart , once again , but there's a bigger watermelon and I don't know if it was seedless , because I truthfully don't believe there's any such thing as a seedless watermelon .
Speaker 2Okay , first off , how are you going to grow it ? How about , let's go with this semi-seedless ?
Speaker 3No , you're not going to get .
Speaker 2How about let's go with this ? How ?
Speaker 3are you going to grow one Semi-seedless ? No , you're not going to get no damn truck inside of this watermelon thing .
Speaker 2How do you know Semi they could have got ? I'm not talking about chocolate trailers , oh .
Speaker 3Oh , you know like semi-sweet chocolate . Oh .
Speaker 2Semi-sweet wine .
Speaker 3Once again , you're not talking about the same semi . I am . That's not it no that's a different semi too , oh okay , not talking about that either .
Speaker 2Oh why , why does your mind go to the gutter ?
Speaker 3Well that's kind of where I hang I hang in the gutter .
Speaker 2Yeah , there you go , but anyway .
Speaker 3Yeah , there you go , but anyway . So . But yeah , I ended up spending some time out buying fresh produce and some different things . I don't like it mushy , I like it fried crisp .
Speaker 2Moist .
Speaker 3Nope , nope , not at all .
Speaker 2Crunchy and Crisp and moist can go together . No , they cannot . Both can be right .
Speaker 3Nothing moist goes together with anything . You can have a crispy topping and a moist inside . No , they cannot . Both can be right . Nothing moist goes together with anything .
Speaker 2You could have a crispy topping and a moist inside .
Speaker 3No , you can't Sure you can , well , you can , but why the hell would you ? Why would you have anything moist inside you ? Some people like that , Not inside me . Well , that's what you just said . See how stupid that sounded .
Speaker 2Once I eat it , it'll be inside me oh you're going to eat moist inside you .
Speaker 3Like a moist chocolate cake . You can doctor it up any kind of way you want to . Nothing , no , never , ever should be inside you moist .
Speaker 2You really got a phobia against that word . Ever it's kind of sad .
Speaker 3Never Okay Again .
Speaker 2Again what ?
Speaker 3Never word , ever it's kind of sad .
Speaker 2Never , oh , okay , again again . What never ? Never again . Oh , that's fine . Okay , are we going to try to keep it clean ? Yes , this time no more moist . Oh , that's not . That's not a bad word , it's a horrible word . It's not a bad word at all . Okay , okay , that's when , I guess , I dropped the F-bombs .
Speaker 3Yeah , don't do those . Why not ?
Speaker 2Here's to you , ma , did you miss that Effie ?
Speaker 3Effie and .
Speaker 2Albert .
Speaker 3Effie and Albert , here's to you no F-bombs .
Speaker 2No , well , I can't control my mouth .
Speaker 3Right that we can control . We're going to try . We'll do our best To do our duty .
Speaker 2Tom will do his best .
Speaker 3We'll do our best to do our duty to God and our country . Yeah , all that stuff To obey other people and to obey the law of the pack , the key word there is .
Speaker 2We will try to do our best .
Speaker 3You know where that's from .
Speaker 2A book .
Speaker 3The Boy Scout Handbook .
Speaker 2There's a lot of things I Mike Tremblay promise to do my best . No , let's not do this .
Speaker 3To help other people and to obey the law .
Speaker 2You're a nerd .
Speaker 3But a lot of things happened in Boy Scouts See kids nowadays , wait a minute , wait a . In Boy Scouts See kids nowadays Wait a minute .
Speaker 2wait a minute , you tell what do you mean . A lot of things happened in Boy Scouts .
Speaker 3Kids nowadays do not .
Speaker 2Well , no , now it's just called the Scouts .
Speaker 3Yeah , because you can have girls there . Now I ask you hey , wait a minute .
Speaker 2When I was like 14 , 15 in . Boy Scouts Sure sure Girls in , that wouldn't have been such a bad idea .
Speaker 3They didn't have that badge , or I would have gotten it .
Speaker 2That would have been a really good badge to have .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 2Anyways , we're getting sidetracked , baby daddy , we're going where we shouldn't go .
Speaker 3Let's not do this Camping with Girl Scouts , woo-hoo , we should never do that .
Speaker 2I wonder what the little dudes are up to though .
Speaker 3Yeah , I don't know , but I'm not too sure about the little dude . I was talking to one of them and he was saying something about airplanes and how he's . He has been flying around in airplanes lately .
Speaker 2Flying around in airplanes . Where's he ?
Speaker 3going Well . The other year he went to a family reunion and then the last couple months ago his sister died or something and he flew back out . Yeah , he's been doing some flying . Wow , he's not real happy about it .
Speaker 2He's never happy .
Speaker 3Yeah , yeah , I understand that . Yeah , I get that from him too .
Speaker 2I guess we'll welcome him in and see what they have to say .
Speaker 3Let's see what he has to say .
Speaker 4Damn , here we are again . Yeah , here we are again . Are you a little happier this week ? No , why not ? Well , this week is the same as last . What do you mean ?
Speaker 4A pain in my ass , what the hell ? Why do you always have a problem ? Because there's problems everywhere . Well , it seems like you're making a problem . No , I didn't make anything , are you sure ? No , I'm absolutely positive
Airplane Frustrations and Passenger Annoyances
Speaker 4.
Speaker 4Have you ever been happy at all ? What's to be happy about ? There's things to be happy about . Yeah , but where ? When you can't always be in a bad mood ?
Speaker 4Well , no , I don't try to be , but every time I get on an airplane or a bus or in a car , somebody pisses me off . Well , why are people ? Why are you letting them piss you off ? I don't let them , it just happens . Maybe you know what the problem could be . You , I'm not a problem , alright , so tell me what the problem is .
Speaker 4Well , let's just start with this . Have you been on an airplane lately ? Not lately , not in a couple years ? Why ? Oh , I hate flying . It sucks , exactly . Why does it suck that people are assholes on the plane ? Don't make me say this shit . This is your bitch , not mine . Okay , but I just wanted to show you why I'm always pissed off ? You made me angry . I hope you're happy . Yeah , I was fine . Yeah , I'm getting happier . Yeah , you're a prick . Yeah , well , yay , let's get him all pissed off . See , this is what happens when you hang around people . Well , you know , I was trying to make you happy and then you pissed me off . See , look , mom , I'm an influencer . I influence people . You're an asshole . So what's going on with the plane ship ?
Speaker 4Okay , first off , let's just go across country in a plane where , all of a sudden , the door falls off . What you not hear about that ? Oh , yep , not your plane , well , not mine , but it doesn't matter whose plane it was . That's stupid . Why would you pay all that money to get on a damn plane when you know the door could fly the hell out ? Well then , if you know it , don't get on it . Oh , okay , well then , not everybody is smart , because the one woman in front of me , she's like I thought the plane had a roof when we started .
Speaker 4I had no idea we lost it . We lost it over Omaha . Is it a convertible ? Yeah , it is now . Holy crap , was it a good breeze ? Yeah , well , now , when you go through the checkpoints in an airport , they don't really thoroughly check your bag . Oh , if you got a pair of pliers or a screwdriver , that's not even questioned anymore , because you might have to help fix the damn plane over in Omaha or someplace . Were there maintenance people on this plane ? No , they left them on the ground . Oh , hoping , they did their damn job while they out their black smoking reefer .
Speaker 1I don't believe the roof really came off .
Speaker 4It did the door , yeah , well . And one woman I didn't even notice it . Well , yeah , of course she did . Was she on a coma ? Probably . Is she on a coma , probably Xanaxed out ? Yeah , well , she's probably like the pilots , all lit on frickin' vodka and whatever they get to drink vodka . Well , of course .
Speaker 4Haven't you heard the news ? What's the news ? There's a major airline that has drunk pilots . Oh , yeah , look it up . Which airline is this ? Which airline ? I can't remember , but they got caught when they got landed . Somebody gave them a drug test and they blew almost twice the legal limit . Drugs or alcohol , alcohol ? I didn't get the drug information , they were just talking about alcohol . Thank God it was only alcohol that we know of . Well , yeah , what would you like to drink , sir ? Oh , I'll have what the damn pilots are having . By golly . What is the pilot drinking ? Yeah , exactly , let me have a vodka twist . Well , wait a minute . Isn't it kind of easier to be drunk flying a plane than a car , because you're just in the air , you're just going ? Yeah , well , what do you have to look out for a bird ? Yeah , a . What do you have to look out for a bird ? Yeah , a cop ain't gonna pull you over , that's for sure . They don't have sky police . Well , we'll get him when he lands .
Speaker 4What happens if I don't ? Well , you're gonna land eventually . Okay , what if I have a head-on collision with a goose ? And the goose is cooked ? It's dead , yeah , but so are all the passengers . It's just a little goose . And the goose is cooked ? It's dead . Yeah , but so are all the passengers . It's just a little goose , yeah . Well , are you talking a flock of geese ? No , I'm talking about a flock of passengers Dead . Well , why are they dead from one goose ? That makes no sense at all .
Speaker 4Planes hit birds every day . Okay , they don't all crash . Another thing I was reading airplane . The engine fell off On the runway getting ready to take off , all of a sudden , that damn engine falls on the ground . You know what they said ? Oops , no , oh , they said it was because of the toilet , the toilet . What's the toilet got to do with the engine ? Exactly . So I'm 50,000 feet in the air With no toilet Taking a shit and I want to flush it , but I don't want the damn engine to fall down when I do .
Speaker 4Okay , and here's the other thing . Have you ever heard of the airplanes that run out of gas ? No , I'm asking myself . If I'm an airplane pilot , what's the first damn thing I'm going to check when I get in the plane , my fuel level , yeah , okay , I want to get over Arizona and I have E . Uh-oh . Well , if I'm on E , I'm landing in the damn highway . But Well , I can just pull on into the Chevron station and pack crackers and a Coca-Cola . I don't think that's the kind of fuel you're going to use . Well , they may not have my kind of fuel , but it's worth a shot . Oh yeah , why don't you just fly to the next airport ? Well , because there's not enough fuel .
Speaker 4Idiot . Well , why did you go by all the other airports ? See what ? Were you one of those guys ? Let's see how far I can go on E ? Yeah , you're an idiot . I'm not an idiot . No , no , they are . I'm a passenger on your plane and you're an idiot like that . That's exactly what I'm trying to get . What a moron . The pilots are morons . What do you need ? A few bucks to fill up ? What's the story ? I need a few bucks to get some coke in Arizona . But Ah , there it is . And then , if he does land it in the desert , you can always go to the Chevron station for a coke , cola and use the bathroom , because I'd be damned if I'm flushing that plane toilet .
Speaker 4The engine's not going to fall off . They said it would . Don't you think they were bullshitting ? Why would Fox News bullshit me ? Because it's Fox News , well , why do you think they call it Fox News Entertainment ? There you go . Opinion-based news stories . No , they want to entertain pilots that are drinking while they're flying , just like MSNBC , cnn , our major networks , nbc , cbs Okay , I also want to know ABC . Yeah , oh , I walk up to the place in the airport , right , I tell them you ran out of gas , nope . Oh , I'd like a ticket for Miami , okay , but I want my bag to go to Chicago Illinois . Well , that's stupid . Yeah , they said we can't do that . I said why you did it the last time I flew on this damn airplane Chicago Illinois , well , that's stupid . Yeah , they said we can't do that . I said why you did it the last time I flew on this damn airplane . What the hell ? That was an accident . Yeah , they happen all the time on an airplane .
Speaker 4What'd they say Sorry , sir , your luggage is in Chicago . No , sorry , sir , your pilot's drunk and he don't know where you're at , so Well , he dropped me off . Yeah , you might end up with your bag later , you might not . I can see why you're pissed . Yeah , airplanes are stupid . I still didn't appreciate you making me angry earlier . Yeah well , welcome to my world . I'm trying to be the nice one . Ha Well , if being nice is what you gotta be in this world , I'm not gonna make it . That's kind of sad . You have to give a little bit . Yeah , sad or not , I ain't giving shit .
Speaker 4Well then , you don't fit in . Damn right , I don't . I don't fit in nowhere . I , I don't . I don't fit in nowhere . I'm like one of them square pegs In a round hole . No , I didn't say anything about a round hole . What the hell are you talking about ? A square peg in a round hole ? That's stupid , exactly . What's that got to do with anything you don't fit in For what ? A round hole , what's that got to do with anything you don't fit in For what ? Of course I don't . It's a square peg in a round hole . That's why you don't fit in . Can you listen in kindergarten ? It's an analogy .
Speaker 4I bet you think you can put a queen-size bed in an Explorer . Sure , what an idiot . Why couldn't you ? Because there's not enough room ? Sure , there is when In the Explorer . You bring it on down , we'll put it in there . How much ? Tie it on the top , what ? Yeah , you have to tie it on top . Why do I have to tie it on the top ? Because I'm not allowed to . Because that's a stupid move . Bring an Explorer to pick up a clean mattress . What an idiot . You brought it up . Yeah , but I was just seeing . That makes no sense . Yeah , that's what I was seeing .
Speaker 4I think you need to go fly back under a rock . You're too angry . I'm getting ready to go fly out west . Yeah , I thought you weren't flying anymore . No , I still have to fly . Well then , that's stupid . It is so you torture yourself . Yeah , sometimes . Yeah , I think there's a lesson to be learned here somewhere . Yeah , don't say bomb on an airplane . No , that's not a good idea , you're right . That's why I said you gotta learn that . Took me a couple idea . You're right . That's why I said you gotta learn that . Took me a couple flights . Well , you know what ? You're making me more angry . I'm gonna go back to my little zen world . You do you Alright ? Alright , everybody , I'll talk to you later , see ya .
Speaker 2Damn , those guys are a little pissy today , man , they're pissy every day . You know what I noticed ? That poor little dude there , the other one , he never does anything , he's never pissed off . And then that other dude goes and pisses him off . Yeah , well , that's the way that works . He's an angry little guy , yeah well you know , attitudes rub off . Yeah , but that's not right .
Speaker 3That's not right .
Speaker 2That's poor guy comes in there , he's having a good day . I just kind of I don't know , anyways yeah , you're screwed up .
Speaker 3Your personal mental attitude does rub off on people a little bit huh yeah but uh , yeah , he was talking about all them airplane things and you know it made me think of a funny story .
Speaker 2I just want to say he did make sense on a lot of stuff . Yeah , it makes sense . He just doesn't have to be so angry telling it .
Speaker 3Yeah well , if you're so angry , don't ride on the plane . That's all I'm saying . Take a bus .
Speaker 2So you have some story .
Speaker 3Well , not a story per se , but I remember something about an airplane that was funny to me . Reading the paper Newspapers are always funny because the headlines always Throw it out there . That's like Look it . One time I seen this thing about an airplane crash . It said airplane crashes into a hotel room .
Speaker 2Just one room . A hotel Okay room , just one room .
Speaker 3Our hotel .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 3And at the bottom it says most of the tenants were caught by surprise .
Speaker 2Now , yeah , I would say so . I ask you why isn't everybody caught by surprise ?
Speaker 3Well , there was that one couple up on the top floor . You know , Harold , does this dress make my butt look big ? Yeah , but don't worry about it , because I bet in just a few minutes there's going to be an airplane probably going to come through that wall .
Speaker 2And wipe us out .
Speaker 3I mean , you never know , there could be an airplane , that one couple always thinking about everything , he's going to catch it . He's going to catch it . Most , not them . Most of the people were caught by surprise .
Speaker 2Idiot Strange .
Speaker 3That's stupid , that was dumb . Anyway , just made me remember that . That's some of the stuff that goes on in my head , but I do know a camping trip story , if you want to hear it .
Speaker 2I would love to hear the camping trip story .
Speaker 3Well , you know , most people go camping and everything . Well , back in our day we had an organization called the Boy Scouts .
Speaker 2Of America .
Speaker 3Yes , of America , that's right . Don't forget that part America and all of these kids and you know I remember them coming to our schools and talking to us about coming to join the Boy Scouts because it was a wholesome place for a boy to go out camping and learn skills to help him better serve his community .
Speaker 2And the incentive was to earn your little badges .
Scout Camp Adventures and Shenanigans
Speaker 3And not one time did I ever think you know it's sad that girls don't have the right to do this . They had their own , exactly .
Speaker 1Brownies , girl Scouts whatever else they have , why ?
Speaker 3all of a sudden they think they have to merge them together in the bathroom at school .
Speaker 2Why can't people have their own little certain clothes , Exactly . I mean I get discrimination part , that part . But if boys want to have boys , girls want to have girls , what is wrong with that ?
Speaker 3Exactly .
Speaker 2Nothing .
Speaker 3Yeah , if okay . I mean , I'm going to get into some little hot water here . But why do you call it a bar and not a gay bar ? Because they're different . Right , I'm not pushing anybody aside , I'm just saying they are separate for a reason because they're not accepted somewhere else . They think how do we get on this ? I'm just saying what boy scouts and girl scouts should be separate .
Speaker 2I agree , but what happens to ?
Speaker 3I mean equality . It's fine if they . What happens to Camp Crystal ?
Speaker 2or whatever that is we're getting there . This is where you throw me off totally .
Speaker 3We're getting there .
Speaker 2Okay . Because when I was in Boy Scouts , I'm going to do a lot of editing on this one .
Speaker 3When I was in Boy Scouts , we didn't have girls . I'm going to do a lot of editing on this one . When I was in Boy Scouts , we didn't have girls . I mean we didn't have girls . There was girls , there were girls , but not with us . No , because something may happen . I mean , that's nature . Okay , is there a point to this ? You're out in nature ? Yeah , I'm going to tell you a story about when I was camping .
Speaker 2But I don't think people want to hear this long back story .
Speaker 3It's not a long back story .
Speaker 2I was more interested in the story you started to tell earlier . All of a sudden this Boy Scout stuff comes up .
Speaker 3That's what the Camp Crystal Lake story is . It's a Boy Scout camp out .
Speaker 2Okay , so we know girls aren't there now . Yeah , girls don't belong there . We can move on from that Right , because that's beating a dead horse .
Speaker 3Right , but they still don't have to come . So what's the next best thing than having girls on your camp out ? Alcohol .
Speaker 2Alcohol how old were you ?
Speaker 3That's an unrelated story .
Speaker 2How old were you ? 14 .
Speaker 3Oh , unrelated story . How old were you 14 .
Speaker 2Oh no , that's all right . Maybe that's acceptable 13 , 14 .
Speaker 3I don't know 13 or 14 , I can't remember . But the cool thing was when I was in scouts , the scoutmaster was my buddy's dad .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 3Who I hunted with , and I knew this guy pretty good because we lived right down the street , so I was at this guy's house all the time . So of course I'm going camping with these guys , right . But his brother is a little older and he was able to buy alcohol , so we got him to get us . We all pitched in , all of us 13 , 14 , 15-year-old scouts got together and we gave him enough money to get us a fifth of Jack Daniels Nice that we hid in my buddy's sleeping bag and took it on this camping trip with us .
Speaker 2Excellent .
Speaker 3To Crystal Lake . It was Crystal Springs , I believe , is the name of it . And now all my buddy's moms are going to get really angry .
Speaker 2Isn't this kind of like Jason or some shit ?
Speaker 3No , that's Camp Crystal Lake .
Speaker 2Oh okay , Two different Crystal Lakes .
Speaker 3Yeah , this is Crystal Springs .
Speaker 2Springs . Okay , gotcha , the lake didn't have a spring . Okay , lake . Okay , two different , two different crystal lakes . Yeah , this is crystal springs . Okay , gotcha , the lake didn't have a spring okay , I thought maybe you recently watched the movie and nope in your mind .
Speaker 3I haven't watched that movie since I was 13 okay that's what made me quit scouts . I'm not sleeping in the woods , no more sorry oh okay .
Speaker 3So anyway , we decide okay , we're going to hike down and get in this little area . We put up our tents and the whole day's going by and every one of us are like psyched . We're going to wait until everybody goes to bed . We're going to sneak off and drink this fifth of liquor . None of us had really ever drank before . I mean , we sneak around around , but this was the big thing . We all had our own big old bottle of liquor . So we get there and we're set up and we everybody's bedding down , we sing our little campfire songs and 12 o'clock comes . I feel a little tap on the side of my leg . You know it's time let's go . So we get out of our tent , we tap on the next tent and they come crawling out .
Speaker 2Why are you just drinking your ?
Speaker 3tent ? No , that's stupid , because they come around and check on you . In your tent you can take a sippy poo . We weren't out for a sippy poo , we were going to .
Speaker 2Listen , if you never drank before , this doesn't end well , I can tell .
Speaker 3No , no , it didn't at all . But we had to hurry and get this . Let's all go out here to the field and just chug this fifth of liquor Five of us . Okay , by the time it's half empty . We got these little lighters out . Lighten it up to see how much we have left , because we're all already dreading the other half of the bottle . Okay , by now we're looped .
Speaker 2Okay , I can imagine .
Speaker 3So , that being said , the next day is the rest of the story . Ah we did not get caught that night At all .
Speaker 2Sure , you paid the price the next day .
Speaker 3Yeah , because the next day here come a little white truck down the side of the little road where we were camping in this guy's field and he was nice enough to allow us to use his little spring lake to fish and have all this fun . Well , he gets down there to feed his little spring lake to fish and have all this fun . Well , he gets down there to feed his cattle . And all his hay has been tore down and we got lit and started playing king of the mountain on his hay bales oh damn tore these frickers up I there was hay laying everywhere .
Speaker 2Oh Tom .
Speaker 3Some of them weren't busted , but a lot of them had been busted . So Not cool . Not cool . Not only that , but when we got up that morning we realized that someone in my tent didn't handle the liquor very well . It puked everywhere on the tent sleeping bags . It was awful , it was horrible because I had to walk out of this place with my sleeping bag rolled up on my back , soaking wet , with someone's puke Dang . Oh yeah . And then , make matters worse , the farmer came to my buddy's dad , who was our scout master , and said someone is going to restack these bales of hay . Now I'm in Kansas growing up . It's summertime . We wake up at 9 o'clock in the morning with a hangover . The last thing we want to do is go stack hay at 90 degrees already . But guess what we did ? And because of the other bells that busted , we were also allowed to come back the following weekend and stack more hay .
Speaker 2Damn , it was so much fun .
Speaker 3We had so many things to do .
Speaker 2You had fun .
Speaker 3Oh yeah , I had fun , that was fun . That was just the worst part .
Speaker 2Stacking hay was fun .
Speaker 3But what was even funner than that is , after we all got in trouble and the next night came . But what was even funner than that is , after we all got in trouble and the next night came , we decided we don't have any more alcohol to get in trouble with , so let's take the younger guys out snipe hunting .
Speaker 2Oh geez .
Speaker 3So we get all these younger guys all excited about it , because of course they wanted to come with us .
Speaker 2Did they find ?
Speaker 3any snipes ? Yeah , one guy did . One guy did . He found it in the bushees , he said . And he said , just before you got here it got away . I was going to look and see what it was and I opened the bag a little bit and it got away . Well , damn , so it got away . The one snipe that we caught that whole night got away secretly . But yeah , we had so much fun in Scouts .
Speaker 2Do tell our audience what's a snipe . A snipe , yeah , go ahead .
Speaker 3It's a small bird .
Speaker 2Okay , we'll go with that .
Speaker 3Yeah . If you'll look it up , go ahead and get in your encyclopedia that no one knows what the hell it is anymore . I had to sell all mine . I sold every one of my encyclopedias .
Speaker 2Why would you sell them ?
Speaker 3Because my wife knows everything .
Speaker 2Oh .
Speaker 3Don't need them , so you just ask her . Yeah .
Speaker 2Excellent .
Speaker 3She knows it all .
Speaker 2Do you want me to edit this ? No , oh okay . She's very smart lately . Oh , okay , she's very smart lately , oh okay , very smart . You just have this facetious look on your face .
Speaker 3No , there's no . This is what I look like . I'm facetious .
Speaker 2No .
Speaker 3I look like this .
Speaker 2Now you look like you .
Speaker 3I always have this look .
Speaker 2Not that look .
Speaker 3Oh well , but anyway we had such a good time . But anyway , we had such a good time .
Speaker 2They invited us back . I've taken the beginning of this story . This really bothers you about the Boy Scouts and the Girl Scouts merging ?
Speaker 3It really does .
Speaker 2I noticed that at the beginning .
Speaker 3I mean now there's .
Speaker 2Okay , what can we do , though ? Okay , well , when I moved , there's nothing we can do .
Speaker 3When I moved out here .
Speaker 2People are weenies
Scout Camp Oddities and Food Stories
Speaker 2.
Speaker 3I decided that I was going to take part in the Scouts once again because I enjoyed it so much and I got so much out of it . When I was young , I learned how to drink for God's sake , that's not what the Boy Scouts were for , don't talk . No , but that was a benefit . That was one of the fringe benefits on the side .
Speaker 2Could have drank without joining the Boy .
Speaker 3Scouts . That's my point . We became boys , we became men out there in them woods , and there's nothing wrong with being a man .
Speaker 2No , nothing at all .
Speaker 3I don't care if you women don't like us this way . There's something about a masculine , manly man .
Speaker 2Where it is , which is a dying breed , it seems .
Speaker 3Now I came out here and I decided I was going to get involved in the scouts a little bit . And so I did . I became a scoutmaster for a local scout organization here . The first camp out , we went on . Guess who came with us ? Miss Caldwell County .
Speaker 2Why .
Speaker 3Exactly . Why would you invite one girl with a bunch of 13 , 14 , 15-year-old girls ? Okay , hot girl .
Speaker 2Oh , I can imagine , miss Caldwell County . Yeah , Okay you're going to stick her in her own tent . That's not really saying much though .
Speaker 3Yeah , no doubt call will count . Well , she had most of her teeth .
Speaker 2Oh , that's a gem .
Speaker 3But anyway , I'm thinking to myself why would you send 13 to 14-year-old little boys on this camping trip with Miss Calldwell County ? So she can ? She was supposed to do it for some event she had to do , to take care of her stuff , she had to do for her pageant shit or whatever .
Speaker 2Right , right , right , let me go with a bunch of young boys .
Speaker 3What she has , her own tent Just getting through over puberty . We just snuck out drinking a fifth of liquor . What do you think this chick would have had going on with us out in Kansas ? Yeah , she would have felt like a sheep in Utah . That's a different story .
Speaker 2Never mind .
Speaker 3Let's move on . I've bitched long enough , I feel like a little munchkin now . Nah , that's all right , that's what we're doing . This move on . I've bitched long enough .
Speaker 2I feel like a little munchkin now . Nah , nah , that's alright . That's what we're doing . This for Tom . I'm sorry .
Speaker 3I'm sorry guys . Boy Scouts are for Boy Scouts Girl .
Speaker 2Scouts are for Girl Scouts . Here's another one of my favorites . I'll take you on that Smoking clubs . You can't have a smoking club , though , because people want to come in here . Why do they want to come in here if I'm smoking ? Well , they feel like they'd be able to stop smoking . How dumb is that .
Speaker 3You don't want .
Speaker 2Let me go somewhere where I don't like it , but I want to be able to get in and I want people to bow down to me . I want to go to a .
Speaker 3I want to go to a barbecue place and bitch because they don't have fish .
Speaker 2Yeah , that's another good one . Why Okay Do you have vegan options .
Speaker 3Sure , we do this cow was a vegan , have a hamburger Grass-fed . Well , he was grass-fed . Yeah , he ate all this vegan stuff . All of it . Yep , he didn't have no meat at all . We fed this guy no meat .
Speaker 2That's kind of sad yeah . You know , what I'm keeping up with our little tradition of oddities and weird things . Sure , I found this little uh 10 most bizarre foods in the world . Okay , now , I'm going to be honest , I haven't really read any of these myself . Okay , so this is going to be honest . I haven't really read any of these myself . Okay , so this is going to be new to me too . Number 10 on the list .
Speaker 3Okay .
Speaker 2Coconut tree grubs .
Speaker 3First off . Okay , why do you want to start by pissing me off ?
Speaker 2This sounds like some delicacy in Peru , though .
Speaker 3What Peru ? Peru , okay , coconut tree grubs . Looks like they skewer them and cook them In what coconut oil ?
Speaker 2Well , no , they already have that . They're coconut tree grubs , so they probably taste like coconut too . Hey look , you know they're white . Cut them up a little bit .
Speaker 3That doesn't even look attractive .
Speaker 2It's like little shrimp on the barbie . No , that's little shrimp .
Speaker 3Okay , first off , shrimp on barbie is called crabs .
Speaker 2Ah , you're right , Good call .
Speaker 3So Well , it says here
Exotic Foods and Culinary Adventures
Speaker 3.
Speaker 2Locals harvest coconut tree grubs and sell them in the market skewered and charred over an open flame . These protein-rich grubs taste like crisp rolls of charred chicken skin .
Speaker 3Wait a minute . Why does everything taste like chicken ?
Speaker 2Chicken skin , though See Not the chicken itself .
Speaker 3Okay , kentucky has their own problems .
Speaker 2Like I said the other week , If they are cooked properly , they taste like that . If not , they taste like puss bags filled with rotted digested wood . That's what they taste like anyway .
Speaker 3That's what they taste like . Anyway , that's what it kind of looks like . Okay , 50-50 . One of them's done , one of them's not . What are you going to do ? Oh , that was awesome . Then the next one Uh-oh , that tastes like a puss bag .
Speaker 2That sounds so gross .
Speaker 3Yes , after I just ate three of them .
Speaker 2I just puked a little in my mouth .
Speaker 3Yeah , well .
Speaker 2All right , I don't know if I'm saying this right Hakarl and Iceland . Really , the worst tasting foods are the fermented , spoiled ones , like Hakarl , made from Greenland shark . The meat is poisonous when fresh . So in order to eat it , icelanders let it spoil on the ground for months , then out in the elements for a few more to dry . It's a revolting dish to many first-timers . Eating without gaggy is what separates the men from the boys . While the smell of the putrefied shark itself can make the faint-hearted ill , the taste is ultimately sweetie , nutty and faintly fishy .
Speaker 3I am so out of words .
Speaker 2Aye , okay , that's a whole lot like . I feel about sour cream , my goodness , I'm going to eat that rotted fish . I'll let it sit out there a few more months .
Speaker 3Wait a minute , let's let this milk spoil , and then we'll put it on our baked potato .
Speaker 2That sounds awesome . Freaking sour cream . How about a giant sea squirt ?
Speaker 3They have that in Chile Wait , wait , wait wait .
Speaker 2A giant sea squirt .
Speaker 3It's not a squid .
Speaker 2No , it says squirt .
Speaker 3Oh , so it must be a squid kid .
Speaker 2It's found off the coast of Chile . Yeah , giant sea squirts called peria or pera are the size of basketballs . Or ejaculation , they're sliced open with serrated sword to reveal the little throbbing corpsocles that live inside the spongy , rock-like car space .
Speaker 3They have to steer clear of the swordfish .
Speaker 2They taste of pure iodine dipped in fish oil .
Speaker 3Sure they do . That doesn't sound good at all . Why would you buy that ? Why would you pay good money with a squirt ?
Speaker 2of lemon , they are transformed into deliciousness , culinary at its finest okay , with a squirt of lemon .
Speaker 3You know what bothers me about that . A lemon goes a long way let me just explain what bothers me about that what the squirt the squirt of lemon . Okay , okay , first of all , you go through . You know , I don't know if you like lemon head candy , the little yeah those are fine , yeah , okay artificially flavored . Right , it's lemon candy , artificially flavored . Okay , go to the other side of the store , okay right by lemon pledge made , made with real lemons .
Speaker 2So I see what you're saying here what the hell is real .
Speaker 3Why is a ?
Speaker 2cleaning product made with real lemons and the stuff you ingest .
Speaker 3That's dumb . Why are we saying that ?
Speaker 2Well , you know , tom , we have some dummies here , I'm telling you .
Speaker 3Nothing makes sense here .
Speaker 2That's just stupid . Let's see what else we got Coral worms in Samoa .
Speaker 3Why are everybody eating worms Little ?
Speaker 2worms that live in the coral reefs Deep off the coast of Samoa . They come out of the coral every few years . They must be very high in fat when the conditions are right and locals scoop them off the surface and eat them plain Sauteed or has a spread on bread . It tastes like liver Fermented in salt water , oh that . It tastes like liver fermented in salt water , oh that's awesome .
Speaker 3I like liver in salt water .
Speaker 2Fermented skate in Korea .
Speaker 3Skate .
Speaker 2That's kind of like a little manor , a little one right Skates .
Speaker 3Oh .
Speaker 2You know , it's like that little batfish oh . The little wings .
Speaker 3Oh , yeah , okay .
Speaker 2Mostly served raw . The pungent fish is seeing a resurgence in popularity . Be prepared to smell like an outhouse after leaving a restaurant that serves this Sure Wonderful . It's the price you pay , but it's worth it ? I don't think so .
Speaker 3Why would you pay anything to smell like an outhouse ? This ?
Speaker 2sounds like something that you would eat right up Horse rib and rectum sausage .
Speaker 3Rectum sausage .
Speaker 2People in Kazakhstan eat every conceivable part of the horse , from the fat cap under the mane to the rectum . They don't waste any part of the animal .
Speaker 3Well , wait a minute .
Speaker 2Why are we eating a horse ?
Speaker 3Yeah , first off , where are we , oh brother ? Where art thou , kazakhstan , kazakhstan ? Well , first off , you don't even have a damn name for your town , you've got to make up shit .
Speaker 2It's Kazakhstan .
Speaker 3Yeah , you've got to make up stupid shit to make because you just can't come up with anything . And you can't come up with a baked potato , so let's eat some horse rectum .
Speaker 2It says here it's a beautiful mix of meat that'll melt in your mouth fat .
Speaker 3Sure it is . You can have them , bring your damn Budweiser to you and then kill them and eat their ass .
Speaker 2I have sea cucumbers . I've heard about those , yeah , squishy creatures . Tastes like lettuce .
Speaker 3No , they don't . No , they don't , they taste like sea .
Speaker 2Well , did you know you could eat tarantulas in Cambodia ?
Speaker 3Yeah , you can eat tarantulas . I've seen people do it .
Speaker 2After digging them out of the grounds , they need to be defanged . After digging them out of the grounds , they need to be defanged , washed and then scorched to remove the hair . In Cambodia they're deep-fried . You know what Deep-fried . I'd try that . I would try that Deep-fried anything .
Speaker 3Yep Deep-fried snicker bar .
Speaker 2Then it's sautéed with sugar , salt and chilies .
Speaker 3Nah and garlic . I would do the garlic , but no sugar . I don't need sugar on my tarantula .
Speaker 2What about the ?
Speaker 3chilies .
Speaker 2They are superb when they're treated like lobster or crab . Take it from their lair to the dinner table as quickly as possible .
Speaker 3Here's a question what Does your tarantula taste ? Like bananas .
Speaker 2No , that's a banana spider .
Speaker 3Well , why is he saying about the tarantula in the banana ?
Speaker 2song Listen . That's like searing something . Yeah , there you go again . How about giraffe weevils ? What the hell is a weevil ?
Speaker 3It's something that bores up under a skin .
Speaker 2Try these bugs blindfolded and you'll never know you were eating a beetle that looks like a Dr Seuss . It looks like a Dr Seuss creature . That must look like Suzuki's baby daddy , because he looks like a Dr Seuss creature . That must look like Suzuki's baby daddy , because he looks like a Dr Seuss creature . I had to throw that in .
Speaker 3I have never seen him .
Speaker 2I don't guess he looks like a Dr Seuss . They're tender morsels that taste like shrimp . Okay , I guess if you didn't tell me I would know I would probably eat it .
Speaker 3I don't know . Of course I don't have a whole lot to say , because I do eat mountain oysters .
Speaker 2What the hell is burgoo ? Burgoo is a true hunter's chowder that's legendary in eastern Kentucky .
Speaker 3Oh God , there you go , eastern Kentucky All right , here we go . What kind of road killer are we finding ?
Speaker 2Don't fry anything . Oh , a singular recipe doesn't exist . A few things everyone could agree on you have to have at least three different types of meat squirrel , turkey or deer . It's got to be cooked on an open fire pit . I've been so far .
Speaker 2And this guy says my Kentucky hunting pal , tim Farmer , shout out to you there , tim Farmer , whoever you are Makes a killer version with five wild meats , along with vegetables from his garden , including tomatoes , okra and his secret ingredient , homemade currant jelly . Ooh , it's served with bacon . Rich cornbread . Burgoo is ideal cool weather . Actually , I'd probably eat that , tom . That doesn't sound too strange at all .
Speaker 3Not at all . I could probably do that .
Speaker 2You know I'm reading this stuff in America .
Speaker 3These are not too bizarre .
Speaker 2No , the ones in America . Well , there's more , Well I find out what . But now we're in America .
Speaker 3I find bizarre is that everybody thinks that fucking grub worms are a delicacy . Why are you going to eat worms ?
Speaker 2It's kind of gross .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 2That's bait . Here's another one Eskimos Not Eskimo Eskimos , oh Not moles . Real moles , either , eska moles this is a weird . It's known as Mexican caviar or insect carrier Edible larvae and pupa of ants of the species . What the why are these people eating ?
Speaker 3all these bugs . I know there's just too much damn shit out there .
Speaker 2The taste is described as buttery and nutty , with a texture of kit . What the ?
Speaker 3hell is this ? Okay , first off , let me just say this about vegans what the hell is this ? At least they're not eating bugs it is pupa Okay . It's called pupa .
Speaker 2Pupa .
Speaker 3Puba .
Speaker 2No , it's pupa . Pupa . It's a life stage of some insects undergoing transformation between immature and mature stages . That's when they eat them . Okay , yeah , they don't even get to get an adult . Poor bugs man , calf , liver what kind of bugs ? Veal ?
Speaker 3What is this baby animal stuff ?
Speaker 2I'm telling you , that's what it looks like I don't really . Tom will describe the look .
Speaker 3So people will know . It looks like . It looks like one of those Japanese lanterns that you light on fire . Yeah , it kind of does .
Speaker 2Doesn't that look like Predator a little bit , though that one A little bit . You mentioned something strange to me earlier Weird , weird food . I did yeah , I thought you did some weird food you had heard about um , maybe I'm mistaken ?
Speaker 3no , probably not .
Speaker 2I'm just probably brain dead yeah , no , that happens to us that happens to it you know all you know .
Speaker 3You get the old porch yeah , yeah , we got the old porch . What was the strange food that I was going to ask about ? Yeah , there was something , but it'll come to me .
Speaker 2We'll think about it another time .
Speaker 3Eventually it'll come to me .
Speaker 2So anything else left in this .
Speaker 3I think pretty much there's more strange foods .
Speaker 2I can't get into all of them .
Speaker 3Those aren't too strange . The strangest thing is why do people eat bugs ?
Speaker 2Like I said , didn't do any homework on this , just something I pulled up earlier . I wanted to be surprised . I mean a couple of the first ones . They got no American foods . We're just idiots here . Yeah yeah , we don't eat bugs . They eat other America Foods . We're just idiots here . Yeah yeah , we don't eat bugs , nothing weird . No , they eat other shit . Yeah , couscous . Still wonder why . What the fuck is couscous ? Remind everybody that we do have a Facebook page , a group page .
Speaker 3We need people to give us some feedback on this crap . You can also .
Speaker 2I know a lot of people look at it , but no one ever gives us feedback , and that's what we're interested in we know not everybody's happy with what we're doing , and if you are happy with what we're doing , tell us that too .
Speaker 3Yeah , and we also have a place where you can write a comment .
Speaker 2a fan mail .
Speaker 3If you want to write , hey , I love what you guys do Any of our sites we're on Spotify , iheart , amazon , deezer they all have a spot to send a text message .
Speaker 2You remain anonymous . We don't know who you are . You're a number .
Speaker 3All you are is a number , and we'd like to know you more .
Speaker 2Let us know you guys suck . I want to say you guys are okay . Maybe you guys should try this .
Speaker 3I don't want to say we want to know you more intimately , because that might get us in trouble .
Speaker 1But we would like to have more of a one-on-one relationship with our customers , not customers .
Speaker 2No With our listeners .
Speaker 3Yes , that's the word I was looking for yeah , we got it .
Speaker 2And again , we do have something cooking for the future . Yes , it'll be something a little different . We're not leaving this , though this is our baby . We're sticking to this , but we do have something a little different going on Our niche and stay tuned for that Our niche .
Independence Day and World Awareness
Speaker 2So , once again , everyone enjoy your week . Hope you enjoyed this podcast .
Speaker 3Tom , you once again . Everyone enjoy your week . Hope you enjoyed this podcast time . You want to add anything ? Just keep in mind that in a couple weeks we're going to be celebrating their independence . Just keep patriotic . Understand what's really going on in your world . Don't don't take anybody's word . Get in there and really pay attention to what's people need to do their homework more , yeah you really do because whatever side , the eyes are wrong there's stuff coming around that you guys need to be aware of exactly I mean if you're going to send your 16 year old out in a car , you're going to make sure they know all the rules absolutely don't send your kid in this world without them knowing what it's really all about .
Speaker 2All righty . So that's it , wrapping it up , yep , all right , till next time everyone , everybody , have a great Saturday Take care , god bless and talk to you later Ciao .
Speaker 1We hope you enjoyed this episode of the MT Alternative Podcast . Join Mike and Tom next week for more stories and antics . Ugh , honestly , I have no idea myself what to expect from these two idiots . Thank you all . Goodbye .
